|Re: Re: Agreements in Cohousing and what happens when they are ignored?||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Bonnie Fergusson (fergyb2yahoo.com)|
|Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2006 13:46:43 -0700 (PDT)|
I personally have not seen anyone defiantly ignoring an agreement and refusing to discuss why (3 years living in a community that is 6 years old). But certainly there have been challanging instances of agreements not kept. Usually this results in lots of either under the breath muttering and then open discussion or goes straight into open discussion after which we either recommit to the original agreement or change it in some way which seems to us likely to work better. This seems like the way it should work to me. It does mean revisiting stuff periodically and requires a high tolerance for meetings, and "process" but the alternative is unhappy neighbors and that's what would really ruin a cohousing community. If we can't figure out how to live happily with each other it all falls apart. The nice thing about cohousing communities is that this expectation is built in or should be; and generally the totally uncooperative types get weeded out by all the work requirements and meetings requiring agreement in the design process and run up to being built and moved in. If somehow you end up with a totally oppositional member then your meetings expectations weren't high enough during that earlier phase. Communities with no rules/ or enforcable expectations don't work or survive--too many drones move in and the workers leave in frustration. What you want are onerous enough expectations that the drones are the ones to leave, and preferably sooner rather than later. That's my take on the subject anyway. Bonnie Fergusson Swan's Market Cohousing Oakland, CA __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com
Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.