Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: A Private person in cohousing

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

 Somewhere once upon a time I stumbled across a sociability index test, sort
of like the Myers-briggs only it evaluated your interest in being social. In
my dim memory of it the descriptions were interesting and the point of
bringing it up here is that there is sort of a sociability scale involved in
choosing to live in a community context. There are people who want a high
amount of social contact and people who want less. Within that range there
might be folks that enjoy large social contexts, and folks who want smaller
contexts.  The folks that enjoy social contact in smaller contexts will show
up for small group events and tend to avoid or leave large group events
early. It is very useful to understand your social index in order to create
the social context that works best for you, and it is, in my opinion, each
individuals self work to create the environment that they thrive in.  So if
you are small social group person, you can invite folks over for private
dinners, conversations, whatever and be clear that your needs are different
and can be met.  If you are very low on the social index, and want almost no
social contact, then living in a social community is not a good choice. This
can be the case with couples, where one is highly social and the other has a
low social index, and so the high social partner goes to the large meetings,
the parties, etc, the other partner works in small groups, etc.  This is
usually OK and can work out fine. 

Cohousing tends to attract high social index people, and so there will be
lots of big social things, parties, community dinners, etc.  If you are
clear about your needs with yourself, and with your neighbors, you can find
a niche that will fit you.

Rob Sandelin (A small group person)
Sharingwood Cohousing
Naturalist, Writer
The Environmental Science School
http://www.nonprofitpages.com/nica/SVE.htm
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