Re: Childrens behavior at community dinner
From: Dahako (Dahakoaol.com)
Date: Mon, 13 Nov 2006 17:26:48 -0800 (PST)
Hi -
 
I'm a parent who cannot stand din during dinner (partly because I already  
have some hearing loss), so I am often the person who gets up and firmly 
escorts 
 loud children into the kids room or outside, and closes the door behind  
them.  I tell the little ones that we don't run or yell in the dining room  
during common meals. I encourage the older kids to set a good example, which is 
 
slowly taking hold so the older kids are starting to help the younger  ones.  
 
I started doing this during development.  None of the other parents  have 
ever told me to stop, some have thanked me, and some have asked me to try  
other 
words or suggested tactics.  During the past year (our second since  move-in), 
some of the non-parents have started regularly talking to the noisy  kids and 
helping them find better ways to act during common meals.  Most of  the kids 
are taking this really well.
 
Also, on their own, the kids (ages about 2-12) started sitting separately  
from the adults in a far corner of the dining room during meals.  I talked  to 
them early on and worked out an agreement that I would support them keeping  
the kids table if they supported my ability to hear conversations during  
meals. 
 They don't always remember, but most of time our deal  holds. They eat 
pretty quickly and go off to the kids room (which has a  separate door to get 
outside, plus plate glass windows between it and the  dining space.  Oddly 
enough, 
the 15 year old usually prefers to sit with  the adults (not her parents!!!) 
than with the kids.
 
Jessie Handforth Kome
Eastern Village Cohousing
Silver Spring, Maryland
"Where, for the first time, my 12-year-old son made a hot dish (mac  and 
cheese) for the Monday potluck, all by himself!  No grown-ups in  the kitchen 
at 
all. A big cohousing moment."

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