|The effect of strong shared values in cohousing||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Deborah Mensch (deborahmenschgmail.com)|
|Date: Tue, 14 Nov 2006 09:50:51 -0800 (PST)|
Hi folks, Maybe the point I was trying to make, below, didn't come through as clearly as I intended. I pointed out the differences between my own community and the one in Petaluma not with wistful longing for quiet dinners with kids, but as an example of what can happen when a community coalesces early (I would guess during the early stages of group formation, though I don't know if that was actually the case in Petaluma) around shared values. When that happens, and entering members can see it and self-select based on whether those values work for them, it looks to me like you end up with a community that can accomplish some kinds of things that a community without those shared values will have a MUCH harder time doing -- in this case, having quiet dinners with happy children included. As I think I said in my earlier post, I moved into my community on a resale and was not part of the community formation. But I've been thinking a lot about how communities form, and my working hypothesis is that clarifying shared values and goals in some detail, when the group is still small, may produce a community which will have an easier time with some aspects of community living -- whichever aspects the shared values cover. The example I gave was one where the shared values centered on child-rearing. Are there others living in cohousing now, who were part of the group formation process, and who can shed light on this hypothesis? How, in your perception, did the stage at which your community worked on shared values and goals affect your current ability to live in harmony? If you agreed on and wrote down shared values and goals early, how did it seem to affect your ability to attract new members? Do you think it slowed you down because people selected themselves out, or perhaps speeded up group formation because people who shared your values could see themselves so vividly in your written statements of values and goals? In the conversation, Deborah Mensch On 11/14/06, Fred H Olson <fholson [at] cohousing.org> wrote:
"Mydlack, Daniel J." <dmydlack [at] towson.edu> is the author of the message below. It was posted by Fred the Cohousing-L list manager <fholson [at] cohousing.org> after deleting the quoted digest, restoring the subject line and adding a short, hopefully relevant top quote. Digest subscribers - please remember to "restore" replies this way. -------------------- FORWARDED MESSAGE FOLLOWS -------------------- Deborah Mensch wrote: > What distinguished the community in our conversation was the homogeneity > of values related to child-rearing in that community. (Several families > there have kids who attend a local Waldorf school, which implies a > likely constellation of shared values.) When a community forms around > the kinds of values the Petaluma community has, and which Lia describes, > a lot of positive community influence on the children is possible in the > areas covered by the shared values. Hi, It's probably useful to remember that Waldorf practices are highly coercive and indeed uniform. When Steiner invented the 'method' in 1919 he was on a roll, engineering his own ideals of what childhood development should be. It is probably beyond the scope of this listserve (cohousing being the topic) but is important that folks don't get the wrong impression that a quiet, civil meal for adults is a reasonable or healthy situation for children. Do reexamine your values on this one. Danny Baltimore CoHousing newamericanschoolhouse.com freeschoolpreschool.org _________________________________________________________________ Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L/
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