Re: past members ,friends of cohousing
From: Sharon Villines (
Date: Sat, 8 Dec 2007 10:51:47 -0800 (PST)

On Dec 8, 2007, at 1:06 PM, cath wrote:

How does your community deal with past members of your group who have moved out, but are still close by and want to maintain friendships and relationships with the group?

Everyone who comes to meals or any other event has to come as the guest of a member.

Personally, I found it difficult when there were too many "strangers" at meals -- inviting 16 or 11 people to a common meal changes the ambiance. New members often do this because all their friends and family want to see what they have gotten themselves into.

But at one Thanksgiving meal, a person invited all the stray people she could find. Some of them did not even know her. It felt like a soup kitchen. And was a huge meal. Over 60 people.

Former members invited by members has a different feel. We also have friends of members who have been included so often, they are very comfortable for everyone.

The size issue is a big one. We had very big meals early on but I don't think anyone liked them -- neither the cooks nor the attendees. We also started out with meals that were too fancy. Gourmet ethnic for 50 people. And reservation lists were not limited so you could show up a few minutes late and only get one or two items.

Now, we have a soup and simple group on Mondays that has from 20-30, I think, in any rotation. People sign up for a series of meals, each person serving on a cook team once and then a new rotation begins. They seem very happy with it. Other meals seem to be the same size.

Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing,Washington DC

Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.