language (was Re: when all our men are dead and gone)
From: Susan Hedgpeth (hedgpethberkeley.edu)
Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2008 12:44:51 -0800 (PST)
sometimes the intent is not offensive but the effect is. i think the subject line was meant to be humorous but in effect was rather inflammatory. i personally had a negative reaction to it. i appreciate the man who spoke up. i think we all need to be aware of our language. it's an ongoing practice. i would hope that everyone in the cohousing community wants to take care not to bash anyone and that includes men.

Susan Hedgpeth
Pleasant Hill Cohousing
Northern California

At 12:32 PM 2/11/2008, you wrote:

As a male, I don't feel bashed by this discussion. Nor do I think its
frivolous. It sounds like a legitimate discussion of demographics that is
appropriate for this list.

John

On Feb 11, 2008 8:37 AM, Tom Hammer <thammer302 [at] yahoo.com> wrote:

>
> This post sounds like male-bashing to me, in spite of the smiley face,
> and  I don't think it's appropriate for this list.
>
> How would it feel if the genders were reversed, or it were an
> ethnicity or race instead of men whose lack were being celebrated? As
> a male who does everything I possibly can to support women, I get very
> tired of all the male bashing jokes or references to males as
> "testosterone driven", etc.  We men are naturally sensitive, caring,
> loving, committed to the environment, intelligent, and nurturing.
> Those of us who are not have been taught by our culture to be otherwise.
>
> Personally, I want a cohousing community with diversity, and a lack of
> men or women would start me on a path of recruiting more of that gender.
>
> Tom Hammer
> Concord Ecovillage
> Chester County, PA
>
> If you want peace, work for justice.
>
> On Feb 11, 2008, at 6:16 AM, cohousing-l-request [at] cohousing.org wrote:
> >
> > Message: 1
> > Date: Sun, 10 Feb 2008 21:16:35 -0700
> > From: Christine Johnson <manzjohnson [at] netzero.net>
> > Subject: [C-L]_ when all our men are dead and gone
> > To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> > Message-ID: <1CFBA58B-E0C5-4994-B8F3-F392D5AF865C [at] netzero.net>
> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII; delsp=yes; format=flowed
> >
> > Yusuf Pisa wrote:  "While demographics for each community is
> > different, a large number of cohousing communties suffer from the
> > "too many single old women" problem.
> >
> > Problem: "too many single old women"  ?  Can you have TOO many old
> > women ?
> >
> > A bunch of us were sitting around talking about getting the heavy
> > lifting done around here, what are are going to do when all our men
> > are dead and gone?  One of us remarked that it won't be long before
> > the community itself is in the majority, old women. "Wow, that sounds
> > fabulous" said a 30 something young woman.   Personally, I agree -- I
> > don't think it sounds half bad :-).
> >
> > Christine Johnson
> > Stone Curves Cohousing
> > Tucson, AZ
> >
> >
> > ------------------------------
>
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