Was What is co-housing really? Now--Does cohousing require and attitude adjustment?
From: Dave and Diane (daveanddeeverizon.net)
Date: Fri, 29 Aug 2008 08:15:28 -0700 (PDT)
Hi Cindy,

Yes, cohousing does require an attitude adjustment unless you are one of the few miraculous human beings who is always able to see things from another person's perspective and is always able to talk to people in a cool, calm, and collected manner even when you are extremely upset. How many of us can meet that test?

That is why many cohousing communities put into place systems that help address these problems instead of expecting people to be perfect. At JP Cohousing in Boston, we have the "CPR" (Conflict Prevention and Resolution) committee, which helps people solve problems with a trained mediator. We also have an "NVC" (non-violent communication) practice group which studies how to respond with compassion to someone who makes you angry. In addition to this, periodically we have workshops that train us in a new skill, such as conflict resolution, facilitation, or getting the work done.

Please keep in mind that no matter how hard you might try, no one cohousing community can be all things to all people. Our community wanted to conserve natural resources through environmentally sound construction, energy conservation, recycling, and reducing consumption; create green spaces and public gardens for people to gather in a quiet and relaxing environment; promote the physical and emotional health and safety and security of all members; support children's education and development by creating spaces where they may play and learn; make all common areas and as many individual units as possible accessible to people with disabilities; welcome people from all classes, races, cultures, sexual orientations, and traditional and non-traditional families; and be affordable to anyone who wishes to join and share in our goals and values.

I think there's everything in there except creating world peace! At some goals we have been successful, others not so successful. I think you have to visit each community you are thinking of joining in person and see if the balance works for you.

--Diane Simpson
outreach facilitator
jp cohousing  617-522-2209
Box 300420 boston ma
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"The people who surround you define the quality of your life."

On Aug 29, 2008, at 21:01:46, Cindy T wrote:

Date: Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:01:46 -0700
From: Cindy T <cindy_t25 [at] hotmail.com>
Subject: [C-L]_ What is co-housing really?
To: <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>

In some ways, it begins to seem to me that many are just another form of property development. "Community" seems to mean that similar people get together and may have a common house and might share meals and chores, but do not commit to goals of inclusiveness of diversity, compassion for the less fortunate, certainly not a sense of being our brother's keeper, or other things requiring really major attitude adjustments from standard American home developments.

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