Re: Disengaged households
From: Sharon Villines (
Date: Tue, 3 Nov 2009 12:04:43 -0800 (PST)

On Nov 3, 2009, at 11:27 AM, PattyMara Gourley wrote:

Disengagement from meals, community meetings, work days and parties is the
cost of not facing and resolving conflict in a timely, compassionate

Not all conflict is resolvable. If people have different aims there is not much anyone can do. Each community can accomplish a range of activities and characteristics, tolerances and abilities. Some of these will be outside or contrary to what a household wants. I don't think people should beat themselves up over not being able to be all things to all people.

I'm sure if this were a resolvable conflict, it would be resolved already. Most cohousing communities have at least a few people who are capable and knowledgeable about conflict resolution methods or how to find help if necessary. If that is not the case, I'm sure that there are professionals in conflict resolution on this list who would consult for an hour over the phone to help any interested party see a way that the conflicts might be resolved.

But it still takes two to tango. Some people do not want to tango.

Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC

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