Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Disengaged households

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Nov 3, 2009, at 11:27 AM, PattyMara Gourley wrote:

> Disengagement from meals, community meetings, work days and parties  
> is the
> cost of not facing and resolving conflict in a timely, compassionate
> manner.

Not all conflict is resolvable. If people have different aims there is  
not much anyone can do. Each community can accomplish a range of  
activities and characteristics, tolerances and abilities. Some of  
these will be outside or contrary to what a household wants. I don't  
think people should beat themselves up over not being able to be all  
things to all people.

I'm sure if this were a resolvable conflict, it would be resolved  
already. Most cohousing communities have at least a few people who are  
capable and knowledgeable about conflict resolution methods or how to  
find help if necessary. If that is not the case,  I'm sure that there  
are professionals in conflict resolution on this list who would  
consult for an hour over the phone to help any interested party see a  
way that the conflicts might be resolved.

But it still takes two to tango. Some people do not want to tango.


Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org