Re: Songaia Community founder, Stan Crow passed away yesterday
From: PattyMara Gourley (
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:39:40 -0800 (PST)
Dear Craig, and list,
My heart travels north to you in your grieving time, and to all the members
of Songaia who share that sacred space of grief.  May you breathe deeply
into this time, and hear Stan's voice through your days and nights.

I wrote this poem during a time of grief when a dear friend crossed over. It
may be a light on your path into the territory of grieving:

Build a house for Grief,

Tin roofed, for the company of rain.

Windows open wide, for breathing.

By a creek, at the end of the road.

Yours alone.

Take your time.

Build a house for Grief,

With a window seat, for watching.

Pillow it with faded quilts of old soft silk.

Hook up a clawfoot tub.

Put thick towels nearby.

Find lavender studded soap.

Carry rocks from the creek bed for the hearth.

Stack the chimney slowly, mortaring with memories.

Take your time.

When you find a heart rock, place it tenderly by the photo on the scarred
kitchen table.

Build a house for Grief.

Take your time.

Make soup.

Bake bread.

Sweep the kitchen.

Keep one closet empty, lined with cedar.

Yours alone.

No one will hear you.

Dig a garden for Grief.

Watch sweet peas twine over sills and rise to the rafters.

Tuck bulbs into soil, for later.

Spit plum pits from the porch.

After the blossoms fall,

When the trees are tall enough, stretch a clothesline.

Wash a load of sheets.

Give them to the sky to dance themselves dry.

Grief will come home.

Kicking off her shoes at the door.

Letting herself in.

She has her own key.

Welcome her, with soup.

Stay up too late, talking.

Draw her a bath in a pool of moonlight.

Let her spend the night.

She will stay

As long

as you need.


PattyMara Gourley, 2006


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"Luminous beings are we . . . not this crude matter." --Yoda

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but
people will never forget how you made them feel." ~Maya Angelou

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