Re: limited-access events in common space
From: Racheli Gai (
Date: Sun, 21 Feb 2010 14:37:31 -0800 (PST)
We have occasional events that are not open to all, and IMO that's just fine,
along the lines delineated below.

Also, while some people politely invite "all", it's clear that some events really aren't meant for all, and I don't know that most of the time people really mind. There have been cases of kids birthday parties at the CH when not all kids were invited,
and I think it caused some friction and bad feelings.

But the bottom line is that every community needs to work out what works for the particular people living (or planning to live) in it, not to follow some general rules or guidelines coming from

Racheli (Sonora Cohousing, Tucson).

I would love to hear more about this from members of other
communities. What may be exclusive to some is considered privacy by

Is this how most communities manage the common house? Are all events
required to be open to the entire community? (Maybe I'm misreading,
and if so, I apologize. I know that this is part of a longer thread,
and I haven't gone back and read all of it.)

As part of a forming community, we do talk about the common house as
being an extension of one's home, and how one can have a smaller home
because of this. We also talk about how sharing resources, which
includes community spaces, is something we really value. It's actually
part of my group's vision statement. We haven't yet talked about what
rules there will be for use of the community space. I've always
imagined being able to host parties in the dining room, including
personal parties like a bridal shower for a friend.There would be no
reason for me to downsize to a smaller place, if I couldn't
occasionally have exclusive use of the large common room.

A community (and cohousing in general, if this is a requirement) would
have less appeal to me if my only option was to include everyone in
everything that I do. It's ironic, actually. I tend to be a very
inclusive person, so I most likely would make anything that I do open
to others. But the thought of being told that I must do so really
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