Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: limited-access events in common space

[Racheli Gai (racheli]

We have occasional events that are not open to all, and IMO that's  
just fine,
along the lines delineated below.

Also, while some people politely invite "all", it's clear that some  
events really aren't
meant for all, and I don't know that most of the time people really  
mind.
There have been cases of kids birthday parties at the CH when not all  
kids were invited,
and I think it caused some friction and bad feelings.

But the bottom line is that every community needs to work out what  
works for the particular
people living (or planning to live) in it, not to follow some general  
rules or guidelines coming from
elsewhere.

Racheli (Sonora Cohousing, Tucson).


> I would love to hear more about this from members of other
> communities. What may be exclusive to some is considered privacy by
> others.
>
> Is this how most communities manage the common house? Are all events
> required to be open to the entire community? (Maybe I'm misreading,
> and if so, I apologize. I know that this is part of a longer thread,
> and I haven't gone back and read all of it.)
>
> As part of a forming community, we do talk about the common house as
> being an extension of one's home, and how one can have a smaller home
> because of this. We also talk about how sharing resources, which
> includes community spaces, is something we really value. It's actually
> part of my group's vision statement. We haven't yet talked about what
> rules there will be for use of the community space. I've always
> imagined being able to host parties in the dining room, including
> personal parties like a bridal shower for a friend.There would be no
> reason for me to downsize to a smaller place, if I couldn't
> occasionally have exclusive use of the large common room.
>
> A community (and cohousing in general, if this is a requirement) would
> have less appeal to me if my only option was to include everyone in
> everything that I do. It's ironic, actually. I tend to be a very
> inclusive person, so I most likely would make anything that I do open
> to others. But the thought of being told that I must do so really
> bristles.
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