Re: hurting others, Subj: limited-access events in common space
From: Kristen Simmons (
Date: Wed, 24 Feb 2010 07:58:12 -0800 (PST)
I haven't found anywhere in the cohousing literature specifically about
inclusiveness or exclusiveness. Although certainly deliberately inflicting
pain on a neighbor would seem to be not very "cohouse-y".

Cohousing communities, as I understand it, are built to foster community;
not to require it. That is probably the biggest misconception that I come
across when I speak with people who are unfamiliar with the cohousing

Whether the common spaces are available for private functions seems to
really depend upon the values of a specific community, and the design of the
spaces should accommodate whatever this value is. Within Stony Brook
Cohousing (Boston), my forming community, we do specifically talk about
being able to have a smaller home because we will have access to the common
room and guests rooms. This fits within our value of sustainability and
having a smaller footprint. We have also discussed what a waste it would be
if the common house isn't active and used a lot. Having a lot of things
going on, whether public or private, adds a certain vibrancy to a community.

Just my two cents,

On Tue, Feb 23, 2010 at 4:44 PM, Diana E Carroll <dianaecarroll [at]>wrote:

> On 2/23/2010 4:33 PM, Joanie Connors wrote:
> >
> > That said, there is something inherently offputting about having an
> > exclusive group meet in a facility that was created and paid for by an
> > inclusive community.
> Hmmm.  I don't see it that way.
> Our common house was created and paid for by a group of individuals to
> meet our collective needs.  Including me!
> As a group we decided to make our homes smaller and make the common
> house be available for functions that the rest of the world usually uses
> their own home for.
> In the home I lived in before moving here, I used to like to host
> occasional dinner parties and similar small intimate gatherings of close
> friends.  My new home is smaller than my old home, and thus less suited
> to such gatherings.  This was a sacrifice I was willing to make because
> I understood that the common house was available to me.
> I've continued the practice of hosting these small intimate gatherings
> of close friends (some of whom are fellow members of my community, some
> of whom are not).  I reserve a room in the CH for the purpose.
> It isn't's published on our electronic reservations
> calendar.  And all our rooms (other than bathrooms and guest rooms) have
> big windows to the hallway, so it's no secret from passerby either.
> I can't see why my having a small dinner party for a few friends in the
> CH would be any more hurtful than doing so in my own home.
> - Diana
> --
> Now is the time for community........Mosaic Commons cohousing
> Homes still available...........
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