Re: Advice on resolving conflicts | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: sharon (sharonsharonvillines.com) | |
Date: Thu, 4 Mar 2010 05:35:08 -0800 (PST) |
> An anonymous poster wrote (via Fred): > > We have an individual with whom I have trouble relating and I think other > community members do also. We have not been successful in dealing with > this situation. It seems like "resolutions" to specific conflicts have > not adequately dealt with emotional aspects and that people come away > harboring bad feelings about each other. The seemingly obvious approach is to deal directly with the person and seek intervention related to that person. The systems approach would be to look at the context. While here are dysfunctional people who are responding to things that are inside their heads, something is triggering this person to react in ways that others find difficult. I find for myself the situation and what I'm telling myself about the situation is at least 75% of my reactions and responses. My big one is having policies in place that are ignored. Some people believe that rules are there to be bent and I think they are there to be followed unless one explains their intention not to follow them for a particular reason and if necessary seek to have the rules changed or modified. Our failure to address rules or non rules as a community causes a lot of conflict. Another is that everyone cares about something different. Things that are small things to one person may be very important to others. Understanding this can be helpful -- remembering not to tell people that what they are concerned about is petty. So one approach is to look at what is happening around this person. He or she may be the canary that is responding to something dysfunctional in the group. Sharon ==== Sharon Villines Takoma Village Cohousing
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Advice on resolving conflicts Fred H Olson, February 23 2010
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Re: Advice on resolving conflicts Tree Bressen, March 3 2010
- Re: Advice on resolving conflicts sharon, March 4 2010
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Re: Advice on resolving conflicts Tree Bressen, March 3 2010
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Re: advice on resolving conflicts Mark Harfenist, March 4 2010
- Re: advice on resolving conflicts sharon, March 4 2010
- Re: advice on resolving conflicts Rob Sandelin, March 4 2010
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