Re: Community Agreements [Was: FIRST POST Questions and sort ofstatement (Wayne Tyson)]
From: lcamundsen (lcamundsenshaw.ca)
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 2010 17:30:17 -0700 (PDT)
Has anybody read "Blink" by M. Gladwell? Seems to me an interesting compilation of various science. It implies that we are not as intellectually in charge as we think. Therefore our carefully crafted statements and agreements may have a whole other unknown dimension. I believe this is the fascination of cohousing-and other groups' process I am sure. I just have a narrow experience. The fact is for us, anyway, cohousing works and we get alot done and learn alot in the process. What could be better?It takes courage to give the intellect a lower priority in our everyday interchanges and decisions. That is for sure.
Camilla
----- Original Message ----- From: "Sharon Villines" <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com>
To: "Cohousing-L" <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
Sent: Thursday, September 09, 2010 5:10 PM
Subject: [C-L]_ Community Agreements [Was: FIRST POST Questions and sort ofstatement (Wayne Tyson)]



I agree with Liz, that there are always rules, just like there are always leaders in groups. The only issue is acknowledged or unacknowledged. The only ones you can control are the acknowledged; thus these are the ones that make you free.

A person in my community, no longer lives here, thankfully, was a major anti-rule, pro-freedom flower child. He thought anyone who wanted a rule about anything was a tight ass, no brain. This freedom loving had a rule for me, however. It was watch your wallet.

He somehow never antied-up when playing poker and on pizza night, took the biggest piece, and only paid for it if he had change and it happened to be in his hand.

But I think what was meant in this First Post is no "meaningless" rules. What rules are, or should be, is agreements between people about what is acceptable to both people or necessary requirements to maintain the property safely. What do we expect? What will make this place work best? What does this need in order to function?

Community agreements are what make and preserve community.

One thing you learn in cohousing, is that there is no such thing as common sense. Common sense only exists in culturally and educationally similar groups. The minute diversity walks in, everybody needs to sit right down and talk about things.

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
"Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation." Judith Martin

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