Songaia Co-founder Fred Lanphear passed away on Thursday, 9/9
From: Craig Ragland (craigraglandgmail.com)
Date: Tue, 14 Sep 2010 18:12:06 -0700 (PDT)
Fred Lanphear, one of the founders of Songaia Cohousing Community (35
people in 15 homes on 10.6 acres near Seattle), passed away on
Thursday night.

As Fred passed, he was surrounded by his loving family, including all
of his children and most of his grandchildren (including two via
Skype). Earlier in the evening, some of his Songaia neighbors were
able to sing with and for him. We sang four of his favorite songs;
Simple Gifts, Harambe, Song of the Soul, and Amazing Grace. This
combination of family and community was a testament to Fred's way of
being in the world.

After he passed, Songaia members had a wonderful chance to grieve and
celebrate his life on Friday. After private time with him and his
family, most of the community gathered in the afternoon to sing and
tell stories. One of our other founders, Stan Crow, passed away
unexpectedly in November of 2009. Stan's passing was quite a shock and
extremely difficult. Fred's passing was expected, which has made it
easier as we each develop our sense of closure.

Fred's passing was expected because he lived with ALS for 3.5 years.
He faced this devastating disease with grace and good spirit. His
open-hearted, community-based approach to ALS had huge impact on the
people around him. Shortly after his diagnosis, he invited Songaia
members to be part of his final adventure. He was very clear about not
asking us to help him, but we were invited to participate in his
journey to the degree that it felt right. During the course of the
disease, increasing levels of personal care was provided by his
community and family, with supplementary professional support. Also
during this 3.5 years, Fred participated in a 10-week Aging in
Community study group at Songaia and helped our community become more
comfortable facing the challenges of dealing with mortality in a good
way.

Many in the Intentional Communities and Cohousing movement came to
know Fred well because of his tireless volunteer work on a national
and regional level. Fred was an active board member of the Fellowship
for Intentional Communities (FIC). He also, along with Rob Sandelin
and others, founded the Northwest Intentional Communities Association
(NICA), which has hosted regular community gatherings in the Pacific
Northwest since 1992. Fred attended and presented at National
Cohousing Conferences. He presented in 2006 and 2008, and was the
recipient of a lifetime achievement award from the FIC in 2009 at the
Seattle Conference.

In anticipation of his passing, Fred and I made about 35 video
recordings in which he shared his appreciations of each member of the
Songaia Community. We did this before his communication became more
challenged. Over the last few days, I've been sharing these 2-4 min
videos privately with each member. This experience has proven quite
moving for some as they heard Fred share about how much and the ways
he treasured their relationships. This has perhaps had the most impact
on our children, as they learn about loosing people they love. I'd
urge others to consider doing something like this if its appropriate
within your community. Cohousing can support deep connections with
others of all ages. Living with elders has become very important to me
over the last 18 years and I look forward to growing into one myself
(I'm currently 52 - and would love to reach elderhood by age 60 or
so).

On a personal level, in addition to being my dear friend, Fred was
perhaps my most important role model. It was his energy at Songaia and
in the broader communities movement that inspired me to retire from
Microsoft in 2005 and to focus my life energy on growing community -
both through the expansion of Songaia Cohousing Community and through
non-profit work with NICA, the FIC and Coho/US. Sharing our life
energy to grow community seems an important way that we can contribute
to humanity and the planet.

Craig Ragland
Songaia Member
NICA Volunteer
FIC Volunteer
Coho/US Exec Dir

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