Re: Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 85, Issue 7 | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Martha Lee (mleecohohotmail.com) | |
Date: Sun, 6 Feb 2011 10:20:10 -0800 (PST) |
I have never posted before, but here it goes! I would like input from other co-housing groups on how you have dealt with adult bullying problems. In order to help me to identify this problem at Pacifica I am using a list of characteristics I found on the UC Davis HR website: Overruling decisions without a rationale, Sabotaging team efforts, Demeaning others, Verbal intimidation, Harassment, Incivility, Teasing, Gossiping, Purposely withholding business information. Pacifica is 4 1/2 years old. It is a large urban co-housing group, 46 households in mostly townhouses. Over the last few years our morale has been dropping, and participation is waning. It is very hard to find folks who will run for executive committee, and our steering committee has been abolished. Community meals and other community-wide events are few. I have done research on the bullying issue and concluded that we have 3 adult serial bullies here, and a number of others who act as "lieutenants", who actively collaborate with bullies. Community members seem scared to speak up at meetings or appoach others when they have concerns that might be seen as controversial. The few of us who will speak up are harassed, bullied, and marginalized. Example 1: the son of an adult bully and his pre-teen friends were regulary shooting bb guns and metal tipped practice arrows on the grounds of our urban densely populated co-housing, an act which is illegal in the city limits due to the safety hazard. Another resident was hit by a bb in the head. By the time I found out about this, it had been going on for several weeks, and no one had had the courage to approach the bully about the problem. Example 2: My tires were slashed recently on the same night as some very angry e-mails targeting me were sent out on our list serve. Where do we go from here? How have other co-housings dealt with bullying? Are three bullies too many to confront? Martha Lee Pacifica Co-housing Carrboro, NC
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Re: Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 85, Issue 7 Martha Lee, February 6 2011
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Community Conflict & Defiance of Community Rules [was Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 85, Issue 7] Sharon Villines, February 6 2011
- Re: Community Conflict & Defiance of Community Rules [was Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 85, Issue 7] Frances Freewater, February 6 2011
- Re: Bullying (was Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 85, Issue 7) Ellen Keyne Seebacher, February 14 2011
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Community Conflict & Defiance of Community Rules [was Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 85, Issue 7] Sharon Villines, February 6 2011
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