|Re: Bullying||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Charles Varni (charlesvarni.org)|
|Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2011 19:16:33 -0800 (PST)|
This is a great and succinct paragraph on a useful model of social-emotional intelligence and conflict resolution. This issue is only exacerbated when when groups have not made a conscious committment to such practices and to being held accountable for them in a supportive and caring context. Where in co-housing is that generally held as the value the group agrees to strive for? Charles Varni On Wed, Feb 9, 2011 at 4:20 PM, R.N. Johnson <cohoranda [at] yahoo.com> wrote: > > That sounds like a very painful and even frightening situation. I have a > few suggestions. > I agree with Sharon that the authorities need to be brought to deal with > dangerous illegal behavior, such as the bb gun shootings. > It sounds like your meetings are held hostage at the moment. I would start > by talking individually or in small groups to neighbors who may be > supportive, and developing a strategy together before tackling the larger > group. Support each other as much as you can. > When you talk with the bullies, be calmly assertive, and name the > problematic behaviors. State what you see as the issues with their behavior > factually without resorting to name calling, yelling or putdowns. Bullies > count on intimidation.If you don't follow their script, many will back > down. Some people are what I think of as well intentioned bullies; they > think of themselves as acting for the good of others even while acting like > holy terrors. I have seen this type of person respond and change behavior > when gently and respectfully called on their bullying. I won't say they are > getting any Miss Manners awards now, but the bullying has been greatly > reduced. > If you frame the issue as improving communication, creating more effective > meetings, or conflict resolution training you may be able to get agreement > on some outside intervention. Whether or not the group agrees to pay, I do > think you should get outside assistance as soon as you can. > Randa Johnson > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: > http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L/ > > >
Re: Bullying R.N. Johnson, February 9 2011
- Re: Bullying Charles Varni, February 9 2011
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