Re: Parenting in Cohousing
From: R.N. Johnson (cohorandayahoo.com)
Date: Wed, 15 Jun 2011 15:34:56 -0700 (PDT)
 I have two small children, one six and one 11 months. I also used to work with 
parents of small children around nutrition issues.  The biggest lesson I 
remember is that the parent's job is to make sure that a balanced diet is 
offered, and the child's job is to choose how much and what to eat.  Parents 
can put as much energy as they want into battles around food, but if they have 
a child who really wants sweets, that child is going to find ways of finding 
them.   On the other hand, if the child is offered a balanced diet, almost all 
children will eat a fairly balanced diet over a period of time.  Unless there 
are major health  or behavioral issues hinging on a special diet, it is 
probably not worth the energy it takes to patrol a child's diet to the extent 
needed to keep their diet sweet or junk food free.  
      My 6 year old has perfected the art of begging without overtly begging, 
and is often offered treats by neighbors, friends, school cafeteria workers and 
the occasional street vendor or restaurant employee.   We kept the kids off 
sugar for at least their first year, and try to keep treats as a once or twice 
a week thing.  Living in cohousing has offered my son much greater access to 
sweets through dessert at common meals. I greatly appreciate it when neighbors 
check in with me before offering sweets, but try not to get too worked up when 
a well meaning person gives him a cookie or a candy. I did have to have a 
couple of stern talks with  my father when he moved in to our cohousing 
community, because the occasional junk food was not a big deal, but going with 
Grandpa several times a week and having junk food was an issue for me.   My son 
still eats more sweets than I would like, but he has a good idea of basic 
nutrition, and has been
 exposed to a wide variety of foods at home and in common meals.  When push 
comes to shove, I would rather he have the supportive relations with other 
adults and kids in cohousing than keep him from the occasional treat.
Randa Johnson
New Brighton Cohousing
Aptos, CA




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