Re: Question about "dining clubs"
From: Sharon Villines (
Date: Sat, 14 Sep 2013 09:36:56 -0700 (PDT)
On Sep 14, 2013, at 12:11 PM, Diana Carroll <dianaecarroll [at]> 

> For example, I have formed a few very close friendships with some people in
> my community....I don't think I'm required to be BFFs with everyone just
> because I am with a few! 

I think this discussion doesn't have to be taken to extremes and loses its 
value when it is.

The original question was about eating clubs that have gone on for years that 
are exclusive, not inclusive. That would never happen here. I haven't polled 
everyone on this issue so I can't swear on a Bible but it has never been 
raised. I can't imagine that anyone would even suggest it. It would be 
considered hurtful and not what cohousing is about. I don't know another 
definition of "rude" in our society, meaning the American middle class. Not 
another part of the world or another time in history.

This has absolutely nothing to do with having best friends. Everyone is close 
to some and rarely has contact with others. That isn't the same as telling 
someone they are not welcome at a dinner in the commonhouse because it is 
intended only for some community residents. It also has nothing to do with 
reserving the commonhouse for private dinners with extended families or friends 
who don't live here, even if another member is included.

Many people socialize together in their homes or off site and do not invite 

But in the piazza or the commonhouse, other people join in. It's "public" 
common space. It's the space we designed for people to be together and to bring 
people together. That's its purpose.

Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC

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