Re: aging in community
From: Elizabeth Magill (
Date: Wed, 18 Sep 2013 06:25:26 -0700 (PDT)
This has been my concern in our community as well.

Not just around decision making, but also around life issues: what if it seems 
someone is NOT getting the help they need, and aren't willing to accept that 
they need it. 

What if it seems they aren't quite present in the way they used to be... how do 
we as community walk with people to help them get that they need help.

And what about the opposite, when they seem to be doing ok, but are insistent 
that they aren't what they used to be, and so can't do this or that, that it 
surely appears that they can do those things... If they'd let someone help, or 
accept that it can be done differently....

We haven't had to do a lot of "here I'll help you get around your house" stuff, 
but the little bit has not ben hard for us to meet the stated need...
But this is more about us seeing a need that the individual doesn't see...

(The Rev.) Elizabeth M. Magill
berlin, MA

On Sep 18, 2013, at 1:11 AM, Lynn Nadeau / Maraiah <welcome [at]> 

> I've seen references to the community challenges of caring for people who are 
> increasingly less able physically. 
> I would raise a different question (and this is relevant in our community 
> where a number of us -- some of the most active members -- are 60-70-80 years 
> old). What about the potential loss of mental abilities? We already see some 
> mental decline in an older member who had a stroke: they process information 
> more slowly, get easily confused, may insist on a point of view that the rest 
> of us see as clearly out of line with the facts. We have repeatedly found 
> ourselves in a situation where we lacked consensus not because this one 
> person disagreed with the proposal, but because they simply didn't understand 
> it yet. And weren't willing to consent to what they hadn't understood. This 
> is frustrating, and somewhat demoralizing for those who've worked hard to get 
> a proposal to where there are no substantive objections to it. 
> So what if we get to the point where several of us aren't catching on or 
> aren't making sense? I'd like to think that, if it were me, I'd say, "Gee, I 
> don't understand, but all these people I trust think it's ok, so it must be." 
> (I already do this for some of the financial stuff!) But if I really weren't 
> firing on all cylinders, that might not be how I'd react. 
> We have younger members too, but I can see how it would be a major problem to 
> have even two or three members who couldn't think straight. 
> Any thoughts on this? Interventions? '
> Maraiah Lynn Nadeau
> Port Townsend WA
> RoseWind Cohousing -- long built, and quite functional: so far! 
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