Re: Use of email | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Sharon Villines (sharonsharonvillines.com) | |
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 2014 08:06:08 -0800 (PST) |
On Feb 10, 2014, at 6:50 PM, Philip Dowds <rphilipdowds [at] me.com> wrote: > So here’s my question: Why is the Internet regarded as such a high-risk, > error-prone, annoying and alienating vehicle for cohousing communities? Why > are e-mails seen as the problem, and meetings as the solution? More > generally: Why is our professional experience irrelevant for doing business > in a residential setting? I'm with Philip on this. The contradictions in arguments from people who advocate face-to-face over email are so numerous that I find the whole argument specious. The most insulting and hurtful and vicious interactions with people I've had or witnessed were face-to-face and in meetings. Many of the most intimate, enriching, and/or intelligent considered interactions have been on email -- and daily. Many of my most important relationships are maintained by email. Email opens an international platform for friendship and exploration of ideas. Our community was organized on email. Without it, it is hard to see how we could have ever gotten ourselves organized. I do not find that people who advocate face-to-face as the cure for conflicts are more willing to engage with conflict in person. I think they just find it easier to avoid conflict in person. They control the meeting by conveying their anxiety. The advantage of email goes to the writer and to the introvert who thinks better when alone. The advantage of meetings goes to extroverts and people who like to shmoose. Email is inclusive and a written message can be more specific and complete. Face to face is exclusive. Only those who happen to bump into each other daily, immediate neighbors, find it as easy as email. Only those who can attend another meeting can participate in meetings. Minutes rarely convey all the points discussed so the meeting people form their own culture. Cohousing is supposed to be inclusive, a cooperative effort. We have two teams that do not use the team email lists set up to allow interested members who are not on that team to join the conversation. One team has never their list and is perceived as closed and one that recently changed has closed down information in a vital aspect of the community. It is incredibly frustrating. There is no participation in dialogue before a proposal comes forward. Knowledge is not built in the general community as information is gathered and the proposal developed so presentations of proposals are longer and more tedious, leaving little time for discussion. We too often now don't know a problem has surfaced. Traffic can be a problem, particularly for those who have a lot of work email. People have different abilities to read easily. Others find writing painful. Some are shy. But our biggest email complainers are people who rarely come to any meetings. One argument against email is that people say things in email that they would never say face-to-face. I think this is an advantage, not a negative. It's important to hear what people think and feel. I want to hear it regardless of how badly it might be communicated. But I also think it is important for a list to have a moderator, just like a meeting facilitator, to step in sometimes to summarize the arguments given so far and to correct false information and assumptions. Not to stop or censor messages. Rob Sandelin, one of our great list members who has gone on to other things, once said the key to cohousing is don't bother anyone and don't be bothered yourself. To say "we can't discuss this on email" is like saying you shut up because I don't want to hear it. Do any of us have that right? Sharon ---- Sharon Villines, Washington DC "Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation." Judith Martin
- Re: Use of email, (continued)
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Re: Use of email Caity McCardell, February 10 2014
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Re: Use of email Philip Dowds, February 10 2014
- Re: Use of email Ann Zabaldo, February 11 2014
- Re: Use of email R Philip Dowds, February 11 2014
- Re: Use of email Sharon Villines, February 11 2014
- Re: Use of email Ann Zabaldo, February 11 2014
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Re: Use of email Philip Dowds, February 10 2014
- Re: Use of email Don Benson, February 11 2014
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Re: Use of email Caity McCardell, February 10 2014
- Re: Use of email Ann Zabaldo, February 10 2014
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