Re: Experiences in handling difficult issues | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Eris Weaver (eris![]() |
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Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2014 14:45:16 -0800 (PST) |
Willow wrote: > We'd like some ideas from other communities in how you have handled > difficult or divisive issues within the consensus process. We are > especially concerned about times when some members have strong feelings and > concerns against a proposal and others have "facts" to support it, which we > have recently experienced. This has brought up the tough issue of whether > we value facts over what are believed to be legitimate concerns, or vice > versa. Concerns may be devalued, because there aren't as many facts to back > them up. The question of caring about our neighbors feelings came up, the > question of either group "forcing their will" on the other, the importance > of saving money over health concerns or the reverse, and how to find what > really IS best for the community as a whole? In our case, we didn't > proceed to the third meeting where a vote could have been called for. The > proposal was tabled by the proposer, but there is still frustration and > some hard feelings about how our process with this didn't work well. We > use Butler's consensus guidelines. First off, if you are using consensus...drop the word "vote"! I know this may sound petty, but words are powerful...and consensus is NOT voting...if you keep SAYING "vote," you will keep THINKING "vote"! >From your post, it's hard for me to know exactly what the challenge is...because everything I am reading is, well, the very nature of consensus! We all have feelings, and we have different understandings of "the facts" and how we know what we think we know. We all like to think we are rational and that we base our opinions on facts, but in reality I think most of us base most of our opinions on emotions and then look at the facts that back us up. Regardless, balancing all of this is just part of consensus...continuing to talk, and listen, and talk, and listen for the WHY...what problem are we trying to solve? What do we need this proposal to do for us? What might be other ways to frame the question that might help us discover different answers? Is there a small piece of this that we can agree on? There is no way to "force" anything in consensus. The more diverse the points of view on an issue, the longer it is going to take to find a way through that meets the community's needs. Consensus is a slow and conservative process. What is "best" for the community...this is not always clear, because of course the community is made up of diverse individuals. Sometimes the best we can do is work toward a solution that everyone can live with, that meets the needs of most even if it isn't anyone's first choice. ------------------------------ Eris Weaver, Graphic Facilitator & Group Process Consultant FrogSong cohousing in Cotati, CA ~ celebrating ten years! eris [at] erisweaver.info . 707-338-8589 . http://www.erisweaver.info
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Experiences in handling difficult issues Willow Murphy, February 20 2014
- Re: Experiences in handling difficult issues Philip Dowds, February 20 2014
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Re: Experiences in handling difficult issues Sharon Villines, February 28 2014
- Re: Experiences in handling difficult issues Patricia Lautner, February 28 2014
- Re: Experiences in handling difficult issues Eris Weaver, February 21 2014
- Re: Experiences in handling difficult issues Moz, February 21 2014
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