Re: What SHOULD I be worried about?
From: Mary Kaplan (
Date: Tue, 17 Jun 2014 05:58:02 -0700 (PDT)
Greeting Michelle

My first thought is to try to frame it not as worries but rather as the areas 
that take more effort, perhaps requiring input from others and mostly the 
ingredients of readiness, willingness to accept the good and not the perfect, 
learning to trust strangers to influence what use to be personal issues, and 
finally that wonderful thing called time. 

We are 5 years into actually moving from living as highly successful 
individuals to a cooperative community.  Biggest challenges have been learning 
to find and accept common ground, trying to live with guidelines that feel fair 
to all especially about work share, and honest communication especially about 
difficult issues especially one on one with a fellow neighbor.  One discovers a 
lot about the amazing range of people's' beliefs, values, personalities, etc. 
that you never knew about, have learned to love and respect, and have found a 
way to live with each day.

And yes use professional OBJECTIVE help so all can be participating in the 
community work especially when you are stuck or when you are about to tackle a 
known challenge.  Go to co-housing conferences for free learning BUT have your 
community make a meaningful contribution each year to CoHousing US now and as 
part of your budget forever to help pay back and pay forward for ongoing 
learning for you and for future communities.

Nubanusit neighborhood & Farm
Peterborough NH

Sent from my iPad

> On Jun 16, 2014, at 6:24 PM, Michelle Burce <michelleburce [at]> 
> wrote:
> Inh 
> Hi everyone!y about 
> I'm part of a group working to build cohousing, and the resources available
> on this list and its archives have been AMAZINGLY helpful! Thank you Allie 
> for sharing your wisdom over the years.
> Vpnv
> So far, many of my fears have been allayed by this list, since so many of
> the responses to various problems seem to be "Communicate with your
> neighbors and it will all work out fine." Choosing who gets which lot? "We
> haven't had too many conflicts." Reserving the common house? "Usually not 
> aires but rather
> problem." Worried about too little privacy? "Don't worry too much."
> So my question to you cohousing veterans is: What should we be worried
> about / work out in advance / get a good plan for NOW? What are the bumps
> in the road that actually take a solid process, or a professional, or a lot
> more money than we think? What one (or two or three) piece(s) of advice
> would you give some folks who have a group formed and meeting, have land
> and architects picked out, but have not yet dropped the huge sums of money
> to make this happen?
> I think we, as cohousing newbies, might be focusing our energies in
> worrying about those things that can get worked out, but are not seeing the
> things that can stymie a whole community.
> Thanks everyone!
> Michelle
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