Re: Reluctant Cohousers
From: R Philip Dowds (
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 10:01:42 -0800 (PST)
I think the point is that cohousing is not for everyone.  In fact, it is not 
for most people.  The considerable majority of Americans (and Canadians?) 
dream, not of communal living, but of a bigger and better single family home.  
No amount of explanation will persuade them into a different lifestyle.

So what you have to do is find people who want to live in community.  Maybe 
because they’ve done it before.  Maybe because they have friends who live that 
way.  Maybe because they “get it”, or because they’re “ready”.  Maybe because a 
lifestyle change will help them solve a particular problem.

Ultimately, it’s like adopting a child.  The technical problems are enormous, 
but if you want a child, you can solve them.  If you don’t want a child, then 
there is no way to streamline or safeguard the adoption process that will make 
it appealing to you.

> On Dec 23, 2014, at 1:17 PM, Maggie Dutton <maggiedutton [at]> 
> wrote:
> We are part of a core group called Aldermuir, with an option on 20 acres in
> Qualicum Beach, British Columbia.
> We find when talking to people that a number of objections (sometimes
> misconceptions) to living in cohousing come up over and over.
> It would be great to hear from folks now living in a cohousing community
> who had some of these concerns but went ahead.  Perhaps your spouse was the
> one that was keen and you went along.
> Stories of how it worked out for you after moving in would be so great to
> help us overcome some of these objections.
> Objections like:
>   - ·       I like my privacy too much
>   - ·       Strata Horror Stories
>   - ·       Concerned about getting along with so many people
>   - ·       Don’t like anyone telling me what to do
>   - ·       Like lots of space around my place
>   - ·       Could not stand having that many people around
>   - ·       How affordable can it be when you have to pay a share of the
>   common house too
>   - ·       We need to move sooner than spring 2017
> Perhaps the last two are deal breakers.  Any sharing of experiences will be
> a big help as we talk to people about cohousing.
> Maggie Dutton.
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