Re: enforcement of cohousing rules and community listserv guidelines/moderator
From: Sharon Villines (sharonsharonvillines.com)
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 2015 10:43:06 -0800 (PST)
> On Nov 6, 2015, at 9:53 PM, Timothy Miller <gandalf [at] 
> doctorTimothyMiller.com> wrote:
> 
> I started subscribing to this list because I’m interested in possibly living 
> in a co-housing community some day. I would look for a community that had 
> some reasonable rules intended to help the residents live comfortably and 
> harmoniously. If, after moving in, I found the rules were not enforced, I 
> would be very disappointed and angry. Rules against feeding feral cats, for 
> example, as a previous message on this thread mentioned.

On this whole subject of policing. When we have had community discussions about 
issues, I have found them very helpful. The open discussion itself resolved the 
problem. One about pets, for example, in which the pet owner had no idea that 
others felt the way they did about her cats wandering around on the tables on a 
common porch. 

In a discussion about a misbehaving teen, everyone was able to express their 
fears and adopt a series of safety and support measures to help everyone cope 
until he “grew out of it.” He was actually angry and acting out so he could 
return to live with his mother, which he was eventually allowed to do. The 
discussion led to this realization and resolution.

In another on the effect of children in meetings on people who didn’t have 
children and weren’t used to ignoring their fidgeting and babbling. Rather than 
tell parents to control their children, we hired child care during meetings.

So just raising the issue in open discussion has helped us a lot. But as I said 
before, in other cases it is a systemic problem and not one that can be 
corrected by personal behavior. We have a problem with bike parking, for 
example. Discussion won’t solve it.

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org





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