Re: WaPo article about aging without kids
From: Virgil Huston (
Date: Thu, 25 Aug 2016 19:44:21 -0700 (PDT)
I have learned watching my wife (and myself by default) be the
caretaker for parents that I will never put my children in this
position. It destroys people and usually one kid gets their life
ruined while the others provide no financial, physical, or moral
support. They are, however, totally interested in any money that might
be available after their parent is gone. I am a vet and I will go into
the VA before I do this to my kids (for you non-vets, the VA sucks). I
will be homeless (with my dog, that is essential). I completely agree
that we of a certain age need to plan for our old age and cohousing
with like minded people is attractive. However, I am not sure it is
the answer. I have seen stuff about old folks being basically kicked
out of cohousing because they can't contribute as they are expected
to. Or they can't afford the condo fees anymore. We need cohousing
that works from fully able adult to hospice. Maybe this is not
cohousing. Maybe it is more of a commune. Seems like a great idea, but
it also seems like there is cohousing where they have issues with
getting people to participate in a common meal twice a week. At my
age, I think about this stuff all the time. My mother-in-law just
passed and we were alone in taking care of her for years. The last
thing I want is to move into some housing place where I get kicked out
if I get sick. Seems like cohousing is not the replacement for
avoiding a nursing home, at least not in the US.

On Thu, Aug 25, 2016 at 2:30 PM, Katie Henry <katie-henry [at]> wrote:
> A nice article in the Washington Post about a subject of great interest to me 
> -- aging without kids. Cohousing is mentioned in the comments.
> Aging Solo: Okay, I don’t have a child to help me, but I do have a plan
> ...
> After watching my outgoing, ever optimistic mother madly flounder in a posh 
> Tampa assisted-living facility, I pulled her out to care for her in my small, 
> two-bedroom apartment. Since 2014, I’ve learned something vital: It’s better 
> to plan a more personal assisted-living future with your own friends while in 
> your 50s or 60s. That will give you time to choose a location with diverse 
> people and culture, with neighborhoods that have sidewalks and public transit.
> Sharing resources can spawn all sorts of possibilities. Maybe my posse grabs 
> several apartments in rental, condo or co-op buildings, or we share a group 
> house in D.C., Manhattan or L.A. Heck, maybe we can find a way to lease a 
> floor in one of the many overbuilt office buildings around the country. 
> Perhaps (if yours is an anti-urban posse) you can hire an architect to design 
> space-age yurts in Arizona. Each madly hip structure would be self-contained, 
> but the colony would have a common dining hall, gym and tech-support center, 
> or whatever your future selves desire.
> ...
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