Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: senior vs. multigen

[Beverly Jones Redekop (beverly.jones.redekop]

"So, before there are wings for seniors and wings for families, please
consider some people actually like living in children-generated chaos." I
think it does turn out best if the empty nesters like children's chaos
while the parents simultaneously try to minimize the impact of the chaos on
others. It's a bit of a mixed message, but many great truths are mixed
messages.

Has any community included an adults or seniors equivalent to a teen room
in its common house? I am one of those 40-something parents who feels
troubled when people propose restricting children from common spaces, but I
like the idea of meeting everyone's needs. (I am very comfortable insisting
that children follow the norms of a space, such as the same expectations
for noise or tidiness that we have of adults.)

I've been sitting reflectively with Sharon's desire to discuss world
affairs while baking bread. I'm grateful to hear this need because it feels
to me like an answer to this would be an answer to generating peace and joy
in my community (Groundswell Cohousing at Yarrow Ecovillage in BC).

I saw this fun music video today which also feels like a piece of the
puzzle:
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10158536575465393&id=776310392.
If the kids and teens take up the bandwidth for silliness and fun, do
seniors feel crowded into a curmudgeonly box?

Maybe an adults-only equivalent to a teen room makes sense. It could have
the feeling of a smoking lounge (without the smoking!) or tea/wine bar with
newspapers and other serious items.

The teen room gives them their own space where they get a break from
negotiating coexistence with children and adults, but we also very much
hope and expect to see them comingling with the full range of community in
the common spaces.

I'm interested in this issue for many reasons:
1. I would enjoy greater peace and joy in my relationships with the current
empty nesters.
2. My mom is one of the empty nesters here, so I value increasing the
comfort and happiness of my parents.
3. I plan to stay here, so I will be one of the empty-nesters in 15 years.

On Sun, Feb 26, 2017, 11:22 AM Nancy Csuti <nancycsuti [at] gmail.com> wrote:


I've been on several wait lists for coho that I am interested in, and just
this year turned 60.  Not all seniors object to children or want to live
apart from families.  The whole reason I have been interested in coho is
the multigenerational aspect.  I've lived all over the world in various
multi gen situations and loved it. I've been looking for it in the USA, and
love the ones I have visited in the areas of the county that I am
interested in. So, before there are wings for seniors and wings for
families, please consider some people actually like living in
children-generated chaos.

Nancy in CO.

Sent from my iPad

> On Feb 26, 2017, at 11:02 AM, Sharon Villines <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com>
wrote:
>
>
>
>> On Feb 26, 2017, at 12:39 PM, Sharon Villines <sharon [at] 
>> sharonvillines.com>
wrote:
>> I would suggest that the greatest source of conflict would be in the CH
— meals with children running rampant, sometimes happily, sometimes
fighting. Parents ignoring the behavior because (1) they are used to it
and/or (2) they welcome the chance to spend time with other adults, not
supervising the kids.
>
> And seniors leaving because they can’t hear and/or disapprove of the
children being allowed to exhibit outdoor behaviors indoors. Once the
seniors leave the population is under 50 which is as narrow as only over 50.
>
>> Our experience is that people don’t move. The only household that has
moved is a one that moved from a rental to a two bedroom and after having 2
children, moved to a 4 bedroom and rented out the fourth for income.
>
> A single also moved from a 2 bedroom to a 3 bedroom with a basement when
she married a man with 2 teenaged daughters who visited often.
>
> Sharon
> ----
> Sharon Villines
> Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
> http://www.takomavillage.org
>
>
>
>
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