Re: Where Everyone Knows Your Name [was The Declaration of ... | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Sharon Villines (sharonsharonvillines.com) | |
Date: Wed, 5 Jul 2017 08:47:11 -0700 (PDT) |
> On Jul 5, 2017, at 7:17 AM, Fred H Olson <fholson [at] cohousing.org> wrote: > > As Block Club captain, I "know" almost everyone on our two blocks. Does your town have an organized block captain program? > Does everyone in your cohousing community "know" everyone else? That story of the graduate students being amazed that I knew everyone was from a number of years ago. And I do think everyone knew everyone then. But I’m sure there were varying degrees of knowing each other. It is expected that people greet each other so you pretty much have to know who belongs here and doesn’t. Hosts of renters and guests are reminded to have their guests be friendly. Things have changed in the last few years. We’ve had a lot of turnover. It seems the same units sell over and over. I hasten to say that it isn’t because people are unhappy here except in the cases where people want more bedrooms or a real backyard. Some have moved because of jobs, to be closer to family, to go to assisted living, to go to school for special training, or for better schools. There are some very good schools in DC but getting into them is a lottery and worse. If you aren’t in by 2nd or 3rd grade, there is little turnover later. So given all that, I don’t know all those things about people at the moment. Partly because I’ve had mobility problems so I’m not out and about and partly I’m an introvert. And partly because I’m trying to focus on finishing some books that have been languishing mid-draft. Even under normal conditions, I don’t especially like meeting new people or going to parties. "In the beginning” we had far more governance meetings so I got to know people then. Now it’s mostly social. I’ve also withdrawn a bit because it’s been so much work for me to get to know so many new people all at the same time. At one point I said “When everyone gets moved in and things calm down, I’ll work on getting to know people.” Certainly in the first maybe 10 years, I would say everyone knew at least the “demographics" about each other as well as I did. Even though all of us had people we didn’t like very much, anyone would help anyone in need. We have a number of single parents of adopted children and mothers by choice. Mothers by Choice makes a special effort to encourage mothers to have back ups in case they are ill or trapped in a snow storm. A single mother by choice is missing not only another adult in the household, but a whole half a family. There is only one grandmother, for example. Half the number of siblings and in-laws. One single mother by choice counted one day to see who could take care of her two children for 48 hours if she had an emergency. She counted 12 households not only that would be able and willing to take them in, but households where her children would be happy. It would be a sleep-over more than a time of anxiety. I’ve written so much because I know there are many lurkers on the list who are considering cohousing. What they seem to fear most is losing their privacy. Everyone has as much privacy as they want. Not everyone attends meals. Not everyone is on a team. Not everyone attends holiday cook outs. There is a core that almost always shows up to most of these events but others who participate in maybe one or two. We have had but no longer have households that were friendly in the sense that we knew them and they were friendly but they participated in almost nothing. Only one household didn’t even speak at the mailboxes but they were renters and probably had rented with almost no idea what cohousing was. That much withdrawal is not comfortable. Sharon ---- Sharon Villines Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC http://www.takomavillage.org
-
Where Everyone Knows Your Name [was The Declaration of ... Fred H Olson, July 5 2017
- Re: Where Everyone Knows Your Name [was The Declaration of ... Sharon Villines, July 5 2017
- Re: Where Everyone Knows Your Name [was The Declaration of ... Sharon Villines, July 5 2017
- Re: Where Everyone Knows Your Name [was The Declaration of ... Sharon Villines, July 5 2017
Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.