Re: Unseen Bullying Epidemic in Senior Communities - with hot link
From: Alan O (
Date: Wed, 16 May 2018 07:02:06 -0700 (PDT)
Ann - I agree and I think that the marketing and public relations about senior 
cohousing tends to perpetuate the stereotype of the sweet little old lady and 
chivalrous man who is the life of community parties.

When senior communities form, it is critically important for founders to figure 
out who the "power and control" people are before hand. Unless of course, all 
the founders are bullies!

At the "Dealing with Diverse Personalities" retreat I led in Arcosanti, AZ a 
couple years ago, we spent quite a bit of time on this topic.

Alan O.
Alan O'Hashi 
Have Camera - Will Travel   303-910-5782             307-247-1910

      From: Ann Zabaldo <zabaldo [at]>
 To: Alan O'Hashi <adoecos [at]>; cohousing-l [at] 
 Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2018 7:39 AM
 Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Unseen Bullying Epidemic in Senior Communities - with hot 
Hello Alan and all —
Why do you find this surprising?  Bullies age and get old just like everyone 
else.  We have a 72 yr old one in the White House.
What is maybe a surprise is our expectation that people will become sweeter and 
gentler as they age.  Maybe because we think aging bullies and aggressive 
people will be softened by the knowledge that they are moving into another 
dimension in their lives?  I think it’s the opposite.  My personal experience 
is that as people age they become even more of the person they are.  A gentle 
person is a gentle person when they pass the magic 65+.  And a cantankerous 
person gets crankier.  (Of course, there ARE exceptions to both scenarios e.g. 
Ebenezer Scrooge comes to mind …)
Crimes and violence and abuse against the elderly is a major problem in the 
U.S.  The Federal gov’t and local municipalities devote resources to combat 
this.  Maybe one of the benefits of living in a cohousing community as we age 
is that the community can exercise intervention among members to keep this kind 
of behavior at bay.
Best --

Ann Zabaldo
Takoma Village Cohousing
Washington, DC
Principal, Cohousing Collaborative, LLC
Falls Church, VA

As long as you have two or fewer … your ducks are always in a row.  The Covert 

On May 16, 2018, at 9:11 AM, Alan O'Hashi via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at]> wrote:
Cohousers - Let's try this again. I was in the common house today and one of my 
neighbors pointed out an interesting article on the bulletin board. It was an 
AP story about the unseen bullying epidemic in senior communities. I've been 
trying to claw my way to the bottom, and there are old people still trying to 
claw their ways to the top at the expense of their neighbors.

I was surprised to read that one out of five seniors are the targets of 
bullying. Having just received my Silver Sneakers card, I'll think about my 
five closest neighbors and if they seem okay, it must be me!

Here's the link ...


Alan O.
Alan O'Hashi - ECOS
EnviroCultural Organization Systems
Colorado 303-910-5782
Wyoming 307-274-1910
Nebraska 402-327-1652
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