|Re: Definition of Bullying||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Joseph Wheeler (wheeler76gmail.com)|
|Date: Fri, 18 May 2018 17:10:33 -0700 (PDT)|
I had to read Sharon's email a few times and I'm still not totally sure of the point, but I think she is saying that efforts to address bullying or to overemphasize its impact could undermine our efforts to foster a diverse community that is inclusive of all personality types, including bullies. To that I say: Yes! We should encourage and embrace many kinds of diversity and foster open and honest sharing of a wide range of opinions, but I wholeheartedly support efforts to demand respectful behavior as a condition of participating in consensus-based decisionmaking processes and to exclude people who demonstrate a pattern of abusive behavior. Failure to do so can make it very unpleasant for everyone involved and, more importantly, can cause some members to withdraw or stop participating all together. A process that prioritizes the interests of the abuser over the abused and continues after some members withdraw to avoid the abuse is not a true consensus process. -Joe Joseph Wheeler Takoma Village Cohousing Washington, DC (Best practice: When sending emails to listservs, avoid racially inflammatory signature lines.) On Thu, May 17, 2018 at 12:53 PM, Sharon Villines <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com > wrote: > > On May 17, 2018, at 9:22 AM, Alan O via Cohousing-L < > cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote: > > > > Bullies / violence perpetrators are adept victim-blamers and skillful at > turning conflicts around by victimizing themselves. > > My concern in the discussion is that the use of the word “violence" > describes physical and extreme emotional abuse, but many if not most > instances of bullying are much more subtle. The teacher who repeatedly puts > a student down, the board that doesn’t listen to women, the verbal child > who twists words. > > When we go to extreme language we miss the less extreme instances. I have > a similar fear with “sexual abuse.” When everything becomes an imprisonable > offense, the offenses are less likely to be reported. It isn’t the adult’s > actions that destroyed the family, or the child’s reporting it. It’s the > reaction of society. > > Except that no one has yet found a Republican or at least a conservative > one, efforts to pick perfect people haven’t made cohousing perfect — nor > should they. Remember diversity? Do we just want to keep “them” out or do > we want to work with it. > > Sharon > ------ > Sharon Villines > If brown, black, yellow, and red, are derogatory, why isn’t white? > > _________________________________________________________________ > Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: > http://l.cohousing.org/info > > > >
- Definition of Bullying Sharon Villines, May 16 2018
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