|Re: Contentious issues?||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Muriel Kranowski (murielkvt.edu)|
|Date: Tue, 15 Sep 2020 06:57:47 -0700 (PDT)|
Al, I'm not sure how helpful it would be to know the details of communities' most surprisingly contentious issues since that depends on so many variables. I think the more significant question you're asking is (I will restate it as) "How did you deal with it?" We've had different hot-button issues over our 18 years in residence and the previous forming years. We brought in super-facilitator Laird Schaub at least twice for weekend repair jobs when our metaphorical cohousing car wasn't running right and was making odd noises. Obviously, since the same part of the engine had to be repaired twice (to keep up my weird metaphor), we weren't always the best at following his maintenance advice. It's hard to change decades of hard-wiring on how to handle conflict, even with good intentions all around. My takeaway is that you must not ignore conflictual issues or people in hopes they will go away. The people who appear to be at the heart of the conflict may finally give up and literally or emotionally go away, but the community will not have improved its ability to handle such problems when they inevitably arise again in another form. (Because people.) I think it's vital to bring everyone together, acknowledge very specifically what people are upset about, and talk it through. There's a lot of material you can read about this, expressed better than I can, but the basic thing is to deal directly with your tough issues while reminding yourselves of your common values and why you wanted to live in cohousing.
Contentious issues? Al, September 14 2020
- Re: Contentious issues? R Philip Dowds, September 15 2020
- Re: Contentious issues? Muriel Kranowski, September 15 2020
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