|Re: Contentious issues?||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Mabel Liang (mabeltwomeeps.com)|
|Date: Wed, 16 Sep 2020 09:47:21 -0700 (PDT)|
I think I heard a list from Jim Snyder-Grant of New View Cohousing (Acton , MA) that included more P's.
Progeny (= Parenting) Pennies (= Money) Puffing (= Smoking)And yes, we have made it so someone has to go off of our tight urban site in order to smoke. None of our homes are single detached homes, and smoke spreads too easily.
-- Mabel :-) mabel [at] twomeeps.com Mabel Liang Software Engineer turned Gardener On 2020-09-15 19:02, Elizabeth Magill wrote:
The causes of conflict Pets Participation Parenting Parking Past Annoyances Plus More.... and lately Police (and signage about them) Also, Nudity, Guns. Smoking. Those are the topics with the most controversy.Before you have all the members you need the most important controversial topics are the ones that will affect new buyers--the things that you wantlater people to *know* and *accept* before they move-in.For example, you can't have a policy that says "no guns in any situation"if you want a police officer to be allowed to move in. If you say "no public nudity" then no public nudists will move in. If you say "no outdoor cats" ....Are you going to restrict smoking that happens inside homes? In backyards?Are you going to make it so people can't have family members that smoke visit?Each decision is easier in small group, and determines whether later peoplewill feel welcome....Which is not to say that it is unwelcoming to state your values ... some, different people won't move into your community *unless* you say no publicnudity or no guns or no outdoor cats. Other items are hard to know before you move-in. Somehow it never occurred to us that our very young children would ever drive cars. So 2 parking places per home seemed totally logical. If we'd made a *policy*about that before move-in we'd have to change it later. Because the fact is, lots of people aren't going to tell their teens they can't have a carjust because 12 years ago we made an agreement about it. Liz Mosaic Commons Cohousing, Berlin, MA On Tue, Sep 15, 2020 at 6:33 PM Chris Hansen <itschrishansen [at] gmail.com> wrote: Our recent memorable conflict was about putting political signs withmessages on them (rather than candidate signs) in front of the property. It was protracted and contentious and we eventually came to an agreementwhere a person warns intent giving residents opportunity to object a certain number of hours before it will be erected. cheers Chris On Tue, Sep 15, 2020 at 1:11 PM fergyb2 via Cohousing-L < cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote: I agree with Muriel, ignoring never works, what does is careful andrespectful talking it through. Here at Swans Market we are a small urban cohousing Community 20 years after move in and we have never had to use the emergency voting option that was put into our bylaws so nervous banks would lend to us.That's not to say we haven't had our share of contentious issues.When we get into trouble it's usually through impatience and rushing to adecision in spite of some folks reservations. When you do that, resentments build and it becomes harder to reach consensus on the next,unrelated issue that comes up. We are so used to rushing to a decision in our culture it's hard for people to get used to the amount of time and effort required to reach a good decision that everyone understands and can live with. There is no substitute for talking it through and reallylistening to each other. We also have brought in outside Cohousingprofessionals to facilitate meetings on occasion when we have gotten stuck. A useful strategy I recommend. And facilitator training on consensusdecision making BEFORE move in so you all start with some basic skills. Good luck to you in this adventure we call cohousing. Bonnie Fergusson Swans Market Cohousing Oakland, CA land of the many smokes currently Sent from my iPad _________________________________________________________________ Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: http://L.cohousing.org/info -- Chris Hansen 32 East Village Drive Burlington Vermont 05401 USA Ph 603 3988730 _________________________________________________________________ Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: http://L.cohousing.org/info
- Re: Contentious issues?, (continued)
Re: Contentious issues? Muriel Kranowski, September 15 2020
Re: Contentious issues? fergyb2, September 15 2020
- Re: Contentious issues? Chris Hansen, September 15 2020
- Re: Contentious issues? Elizabeth Magill, September 15 2020
- Re: Contentious issues? Mabel Liang, September 16 2020
- P.S. Re: Contentious issues? Mabel Liang, September 16 2020
- Re: Contentious issues? Sharon Villines, September 16 2020
- Re: Contentious issues? Chris Hansen, September 16 2020
- Re: Contentious issues? fergyb2, September 15 2020
- Re: Contentious issues? Muriel Kranowski, September 15 2020
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