|Re: Contentious issues?||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Chris Hansen (itschrishansengmail.com)|
|Date: Wed, 16 Sep 2020 17:59:03 -0700 (PDT)|
Another 'P' is politics... 'nuff said! Chris On Wed, 16 Sep 2020 at 13:49, Sharon Villines via Cohousing-L < cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote: > Rob Sandelin used to say parents, pets, poisons. > > Poisons could be expanded to the more general topic of the environment but > it doesn’t begin with a P. > > Sharon > > > On Sep 16, 2020, at 12:38 PM, Mabel Liang <mabel [at] twomeeps.com> wrote: > > > > I think I heard a list from Jim Snyder-Grant of New View Cohousing > (Acton , MA) that included more P's. > > > > Progeny (= Parenting) > > > > Pennies (= Money) > > > > Puffing (= Smoking) > > > > And yes, we have made it so someone has to go off of our tight urban > site in order to smoke. None of our homes are single detached homes, and > smoke spreads too easily. > > > > -- Mabel :-) > > > > mabel [at] twomeeps.com > > Mabel Liang > > Software Engineer turned Gardener > > > > On 2020-09-15 19:02, Elizabeth Magill wrote: > > > >> The causes of conflict > >> Pets > >> Participation > >> Parenting > >> Parking > >> Past Annoyances > >> Plus More.... > >> and lately > >> Police (and signage about them) > >> Also, Nudity, Guns. Smoking. > >> Those are the topics with the most controversy. > >> Before you have all the members you need the most important > controversial > >> topics are the ones that will affect new buyers--the things that you > want > >> later people to *know* and *accept* before they move-in. > >> For example, you can't have a policy that says "no guns in any > situation" > >> if you want a police officer to be allowed to move in. > >> If you say "no public nudity" then no public nudists will move in. > >> If you say "no outdoor cats" .... > >> Are you going to restrict smoking that happens inside homes? In > backyards? > >> Are you going to make it so people can't have family members that smoke > >> visit? > >> Each decision is easier in small group, and determines whether later > people > >> will feel welcome.... > >> Which is not to say that it is unwelcoming to state your values ... > some, > >> different people won't move into your community *unless* you say no > public > >> nudity or no guns or no outdoor cats. > >> Other items are hard to know before you move-in. Somehow it never > >> occurred to us that our very young children would ever drive cars. So 2 > >> parking places per home seemed totally logical. If we'd made a *policy* > >> about that before move-in we'd have to change it later. Because the fact > >> is, lots of people aren't going to tell their teens they can't have a > car > >> just because 12 years ago we made an agreement about it. > >> Liz > >> Mosaic Commons Cohousing, Berlin, MA > >> On Tue, Sep 15, 2020 at 6:33 PM Chris Hansen <itschrishansen [at] > >> gmail.com> > >> wrote: > >> Our recent memorable conflict was about putting political signs with > >> messages on them (rather than candidate signs) in front of the property. > >> It was protracted and contentious and we eventually came to an agreement > >> where a person warns intent giving residents opportunity to object a > >> certain number of hours before it will be erected. > >> cheers > >> Chris > >> On Tue, Sep 15, 2020 at 1:11 PM fergyb2 via Cohousing-L < > >> cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote: > >> I agree with Muriel, ignoring never works, what does is careful and > >> respectful talking it through. Here at Swans Market we are a small > urban > >> cohousing Community 20 years after move in and we have never had to use > the emergency voting option that was put into our bylaws so nervous banks > would lend to us. > >> That's not to say we haven't had our share of contentious issues. > >> When we get into trouble it's usually through impatience and rushing to > a > >> decision in spite of some folks reservations. When you do that, > >> resentments build and it becomes harder to reach consensus on the next, > >> unrelated issue that comes up. We are so used to rushing to a decision > in our culture it's hard for people to get used to the amount of time and > >> effort required to reach a good decision that everyone understands and > can live with. There is no substitute for talking it through and really > >> listening to each other. We also have brought in outside Cohousing > >> professionals to facilitate meetings on occasion when we have gotten > stuck. A useful strategy I recommend. And facilitator training on consensus > >> decision making BEFORE move in so you all start with some basic skills. > >> Good luck to you in this adventure we call cohousing. > >> Bonnie Fergusson > >> Swans Market Cohousing > >> Oakland, CA land of the many smokes currently > >> Sent from my iPad > >> _________________________________________________________________ > >> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: > >> http://L.cohousing.org/info > >> -- Chris Hansen > >> 32 East Village Drive > >> Burlington > >> Vermont 05401 > >> USA > >> Ph 603 3988730 > >> _________________________________________________________________ > >> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: > >> http://L.cohousing.org/info > > _________________________________________________________________ > > Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: > > http://L.cohousing.org/info > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: > http://L.cohousing.org/info > > > > -- Chris Hansen 32 East Village Drive Burlington Vermont 05401 USA Ph 603 3988730
- Re: Contentious issues?, (continued)
- Re: Contentious issues? Sharon Villines, September 28 2020
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