|Consensus and conflict.||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Susan Hills (Suezqinflaaol.com)|
|Date: Wed, 6 Jan 2021 07:25:34 -0800 (PST)|
Melanie hits the nail on the head. After a two year stint in Cohousing, where “consensus” is purportedly practiced, and diversity is “preached”, we left because we held some different views than some of the dominant players in our community. Our New England community was totally conflict averse and kept trying to hire mediators, and set up systems to neatly deal with internal differences, but was completely unable to honestly confront differences and hash out compromise. Their conflict aversion became so personal that we were excluded from some activities, called “outliers,” “heretics” and more, and nobody had the courage to say that was wrong. We began to realize that the community was fundamentally dishonest and undemocratic. If you’re unable to incorporate different points of view into your process, you become subject to a form of group think and intimidation that allows a few people to run roughshod over the group and silence naysayers. Winners and losers are created. We still like the concept of Cohousing, but fear that, as Melanie said, until people can depersonalize conflict and accept compromise as opposed to winning, they will continue to drive people out. Susan H Die Gedanken sind frei Sent from my iPad
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