Re: Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 205, Issue 10
From: fernselzer (
Date: Wed, 10 Feb 2021 13:34:22 -0800 (PST)
Thanks Neil,and if anyone wants the flyer (I'm sorry it didn't post) they can 
email Laird directly since there is no need for me as a middle person.  If you 
do send a request to me, that's ok,  I will just forward it to Laird.
Since some people are talking/asking about this:  my observation with Laird 
working in our community:He saw places the community was stuck (we were about 5 
years living together in cohousing) and we needed to face that in order to move 
forward in many areas.     Some people don't like that. (that was why we were 
stuck)  and perhaps didn't want the outcome that resulted when we became 
unstuck.  I never heard any complaints from anyone though.  We just instituted 
some processes that, though difficult, helped us move forward.
When we were forming(for years), many times we asked for advice from 
experienced cohousers  about what was important  to prioritize.  Often people 
said they wished their community had spent more money on outside facilitation.  
And we did, before we moved in.    Once we moved in, and a lot of newer members 
came in quickly, because we were a retrofit, they were reluctant to spend the 
money on paid facilitation.
A story:   The consultant we used at our original retreat  picked common house 
dining as a topic to use as an example of how to come to consensus.   I don't 
remember the details of the process itself, but the results were that we have a 
really easy and uncomplicated way of dealing with everything about community 
meals, especially considering how many special dietary needs, finances, and 
schedules we accommodate.   I compare that to how long it takes us to figure 
out other things, all the "Ps", paint, parking, pets.etc
When Laird's group came (pretty inexpensive for us), we learned more about how 
to deal with the stickiness that comes up, in our case, from one person who is 
against anything not in their personal interest. Also, our community got to see 
the value of outside facilitation in general.  Now we continue to address 
issues using outside facilitation by paying for that at our retreats and by 
getting outside consultation for our own facilitation team.
 I wasn't in Laird's training group though, but I think it was a great and 
unique learning opportunity for those participants.Fern

-----Original Message-----
From: cohousing-l-request [at]
To: cohousing-l [at]
Sent: Wed, Feb 10, 2021 3:16 am
Subject: Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 205, Issue 10

Message: 6
Date: Tue, 9 Feb 2021 17:48:11 -0800
From: Neil Planchon <neil [at]>
To: cohousing-l [at]
Cc: fernselzer [at], Laird Schaub <laird [at]>
Subject: [C-L]_ Correct Email address for Laird!
Message-ID: <BD5B8B6F-F26C-404E-8C6D-A80C74E7F297 [at]>
Content-Type: text/plain;    charset=utf-8

Hello everyone 

Sunday?s posting called Facilitation training which Fern kindly posted made 
Laird?s email address confusing! His email address is laird [at]

In community,

Events Team Volunteer. Cohousing Association
Steering Committee. Cohousing Research Network 
Co-Developer and Founding Owner. Swan?s Market Cohousing
Co-Director, Ads & Development. Foundation for Intentional Community (FIC)


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