|Re: child raising brochure clarification||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Sharon Villines (sharonsharonvillines.com)|
|Date: Wed, 7 Apr 2021 13:49:44 -0700 (PDT)|
> On Apr 6, 2021, at 3:19 PM, Diana Carroll <dianaecarroll [at] gmail.com> > wrote: > > "2 households left (in part) from feeling like other parents were not > supervising their children” and "they didn't like others in the community > pointing out the destruction their children were doing" > > This is very judgemental language and I'm betting those families would > use *very *different words to describe what went on. Sure, Why is it judgmental? It’s stated as a description of what happened—it may be wrong but it isn’t making value judgements. I’ve been surprised at how unwilling parents are to correct behavior that is not okay with other parents who don’t want their children to imitate it — jumping and climbing on furniture in the living room, for example. Running and yelling through dinner. Playing with the foam bullet guns in the common house and where young children are playing. Some parents think children should be allowed to make noise because children “need" to do it. It is an expression of their inner being. And the parents have a liberating parenting style that will produce free and happy adults. These are isolated instances and other parents and adults do step in and discuss the problem, how others feel about what is happening. And many children listen to other adults, not just their parents. They get the message that it may be okay to jump on furniture at home but not in the CH. In general we have a culture that discourages doing things that other people find disturbing, but I can think of only one household that may have moved because of expectations of children. I think they misunderstood when we said that behavior in the common house affects everyone and everyone should be involved in determining what is acceptable. Their child was too young to have done anything objectionable. We’ve had teens with serious acting out issues that everyone has worked through with the parents and the children came out the other end as good community members. One advantage of children is that they outgrow it. Just at the point that you begin thinking this has to stop, they got into the next phase. Sharon ---- Sharon Villines Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC http://www.takomavillage.org
Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.