Re: Re: Children: Letting them work it out
From: aamato (
Date: Wed, 14 Dec 2005 15:54:17 -0800 (PST)
By sheer coincidence, I received this from another listserve I am on.  I thought
I would pass it on as a contribution to the Children in Cohousing discussion.
It talks about parents, but I think we can substitute "Community" ...
Takoma Village, Washington, DC


Are you aware of the first Law of Parenthood? It states that nobody
really wants your job, but everybody thinks they can do it better.

I appreciate the honesty of parents who sometimes feel overwhelmed by
the task of parenthood. One man candidly said, "Before I got married I
had three theories on raising children. Now I have three children and
no theories!"

"Quote Magazine" (September 1, 1985) published ten behaviors children
ages 8 to 14 identified as qualities they wanted in parents. These
young people, from 24 countries, agreed on ten traits they believed
were important for all parents to possess. Here they are:

1. They want harmony. They do not want their parents to have
unresolved and destructive conflict in front of them.

2. They want love. They wish to be treated with the same affection as
other children in the family.

3. They want honesty. And to be told the truth.

4. They want acceptance. They desire mutual tolerance from both

5. They want their parents to like their friends. They want their
friends to be welcomed in the home.

6. They want closeness. They desire comradeship with their parents.

7. They want their parents to pay attention to them and answer their

8. They want consideration from their parents. They do not want to be
embarrassed or punished in front of friends.

9. They want positive support. They wish for their parents to
concentrate on their good points rather than their weaknesses.

10. They want consistency. They desire parents to be constant in their
affections and moods.

It appears that these children want what all of us want - respect,
consideration and love. In fact, these work well with "children" of
all ages!

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