Re: Inappropriate Behavior
From: Sharon Villines (
Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2021 10:13:06 -0700 (PDT)
One of my wishes for cohousing groups (all groups, really) is that decisions 
about labelling some behaviors “inappropriate” would be replaced with “this 
would upset or concern or irritate some people” or we have agreed that this 
upsets so many people we just don’t do it (ie naked parties on the green). 
Relationships should be encouraged or expected to be individual. (It may be 
rare but sometimes naked parties on the green should be celebrated — the all 
clear after a cancer treatment.)

Rob Sandelin’s standard was “Don’t bother other people, and don’t be easily 

Some people can talk to other people about touchy subjects better than others 
but avoiding making judgements like "well if you had been nicer or used 
different words, they might have listened," while often true, is also 
judgmental. It blames the messenger.

Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC

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