Re: Inappropriate Behavior
From: Virgil Huston (
Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2021 13:33:40 -0700 (PDT)
All these things are what happens all the time in social situations.
Except maybe asking to borrow a car, but only because that may be a
rare thing to need to ask for (although in poor communities, that and
asking for rides happens all the time. People are never obligated to
answer questions put to them and can say no to requests to borrow
things. Many of the things you mention are how people have been
getting to know each other since language was invented. And I see
nothing wrong about calling out slackers LOL. The slacker may not like

On Mon, Sep 6, 2021 at 2:30 PM Muriel Kranowski <murielk [at]> wrote:
> Responding to these in increasing rank from totally innocuous to possibly
> problematic:
> Asking to borrow a car for an important local trip. - very acceptable, and
> the trip doesn't have to be that important
> Responding to email post that may not be directed to you but that you have
> information about. -I don't think anyone would object to this.
> Asking question of neighbors pertaining to their health, work, community
> involvement  or their family.- So, is it okay to ask nosy questions...
> depends on the relationship, the situation, the context in which it's
> asked, all of that. My husband just had serious surgery and EVERYONE is
> asking about his health, and that feels good and supportive. But when I
> knew a neighbor was out of work, I didn't want to keep bugging him with
> "How's the job search going?" even though I was concerned about him.
> Mentioning to community members about their lack of participation around
> tasks they have chosen or assigned.- Well, since we all know this is not an
> easy conversation to have, we have a workshare position called Workshare
> Tracker whom we authorize to have those conversations for us. You have to
> have the right kind of person for this, and fortunately we do. Somehow this
> question has a very privacy-invading vibe to it, even though it directly
> affects the community.
>     Muriel at Shadowlake Village
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