Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Goodbye Cohousing, Hello Grandma

[Barb Andre (mba]

About Thomas Alexander's decision to not "work so hard to build a
surrogate extended family when the real thing is already avaiable?" and
Tom Nelson Scott's response that "Like you, I'd rather live near family.
And I'd rather walk to work or telecommute from home. Maybe all those
features can be combined?": cohousing provided the best way for me to
live with and help my own parents.

My ailing father is confined to a wheelchair. My husband and I decided
to move home to help my mother take care of my father, but their old
home was not appropriate for housing two families (we have two small
children), nor was the neighborhood child-friendly, being on a busy
highway and with no other children in any neighboring houses. Cohousing
was a godsend.

My parents and I now share a duplex in Greyrock Commons: that is, they
live in one side and we live in the other side. We can live together and
still maintain our own home "territories." There are 31 children of
varying ages in our community, and some of them can be found on any
given day playing in the playground. It is a source of joy for me to
watch my son and daughter playing with their friends as the sun goes
down, while the other parents and I chat.

My father attends all the common meals in the wheelchair-accessible
Common House, which provide him a regular social setting that would be
impossible to get in a typical suburban setting here. I got the best of
both worlds. I have my extended family AND my "surrogate extended
family," both of which I need to maintain a healthy emotional life. What
I didn't get was a house within walking distance of work and shopping,
but a bicycle can get us pretty far on nice days. The houses in the old
and picturesque part of town which *would* be within walking distance
were both too small for two families, and would require extensive
remodeling to make them wheelchair-friendly.

BTW, I totally support Thomas Alexander's decision to move close to his
wife's grandparents and applaud his efforts to build community there.

Barb Andre
Greyrock Commons
Fort Collins, CO