Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Through the looking glass, #1

[cynthia . e . carpenter (cynthia.e.carpenter]

Both Patty and Liz's comments really touched me.  Like Patty, we sized down
because of prices going up, from a 4-bedroom to a 3-bedroom.  Our new home
feels awfully small, for such a big price tag, and all the more so because
we had a third child during the time between choosing a unit and the
(repeatedly delayed) move-in!  He was born at home, and we had hoped that
he would be the first child born into our cohousing community.  Instead,
his birth in our old home makes me feel sadder about leaving that apartment
and makes this new apartment in cohousing seem kind of cold and empty.
(Even though my old apartment was a dark, run-down, badly-designed
2-bedroom, and my new cohousing apartment is a beautiful, light,
spacious-feeling 3-bedroom - go figure.)  I hope it takes less than Liz's
five years for it to feel more like home to me.  I think I'll go home
tonight and find a good wall to mark my kids' heights!

If I can hazard a general theory from these few comments: my guess is that
people who are attracted to cohousing are often people who work hard at
building community wherever they are, and that leaving that community, even
for a new, long-desired dream community, will often be hard!  It certainly
has been for me, and I really wasn't prepared for just *how* hard it is.
My new neighbors are wonderful, and we've worked together for years, but I
miss my old home and neighbors terribly.  We're setting up regular contact
rituals - Friday night dinners at our house, my daughter going to their
house one day/week after school - and I think that will ease some of the
separation pain.

 - Cindy
Cambridge Cohousing


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