Re: New member, questions | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Kay Argyle (argylemines.utah.edu) | |
Date: Mon, 27 Mar 2000 12:08:40 -0700 (MST) |
> what kind of questions are important to ask the > community before making a final decision. Also, what have you found to be > the most challenging aspects of cohousing? > ... > Jennifer Based on the experience of our community, if the community you are moving into is not 100% finished, a very important question to ask is the amount of sweat equity that will be involved for landscaping, the common house, etc. The members who joined us right before move-in weren't at all prepared for this. A related question is community work requirements. For instance, is cooking required? What are the arrangements for maintenance of community property, such as common house cleaning? The challenging aspects for me have been (these are interrelated), (a) The work load (our landscaping is 100% sweat equity). (b) The difficulty in maintaining an existence apart from cohousing. Cohousing has this tendency to suck up your time with community meetings, common meals, committee meetings, work parties, clearing meetings, potlucks, dances, birthday parties, crafts night, game night .... I never went anywhere except to work or the grocery store, I quit visiting my parents and siblings or going to the library or movies or skiing or biking. I never talked about or thought about or did anything but cohousing. I felt like I had a second job where I lived on the premises. I went to work in the morning and I came home in the evening and worked, and I went to work and I came home and went to a meeting ... and after a while I was wondering why I was reluctant to come home. I'm doing better emotionally since I gave myself permission to be "irresponsible" about community work (if nobody will do it if I don't ... that's okay), and started making a deliberate effort to spend time on things that have nothing to do with cohousing, to spend time alone, to disappear on weekends if I want to. (c) The lack of privacy. For instance, since we are not permitted (in our community) to put up fences and the kids have been used to playing anywhere and everywhere while the property was unlandscaped, they cut through my flowerbeds and across my patio during their games. It seems petty to object to this, but it upsets me. I've seen comments about a need for privacy being something to be "overcome" and "outgrown" as you live in cohousing, as though it were a pathology. Absolutely not. (I was pleased to find that Christopher Alexander talks about people's need for privacy and gradations of intimacy, and the implications for architecture in A Pattern Language.) Kay Argyle Wasatch Commons Salt Lake City
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New member, questions Jennifer Kennett, March 26 2000
- Re: New member, questions Kay Argyle, March 27 2000
- Re: New member, questions aamato, March 27 2000
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