Cohousing-L Mailing List: Commitment To Community -newpaper article

[C2pattee (C2pattee]

dear folks,

greater hartford (connecticut) cohousing had a great article on the front 
page of the hartford courant last november.  it served to bring in a lot of 
us who'd been looking for somthing just like this, and many of us are now 
active members of the group.  the text of the article is below.  if you want 
to go to the article itself, with color photo of pioneer valley, just click 
on the link below
 <A 
HREF="http://www.ctnow.com/scripts/editorial.dll?render=y&eetype=Article&eeid=
1005774&ck=&ver=hb1.2.20">Click here: ctnow.com                               
                                                        </A> 

 or cut 'n' paste the following into your browser:
http://www.ctnow.com/scripts/editorial.dll?render=y&eetype=Article&eeid=100577
4&ck=&ver=hb1.2.20

submitted by 
Christine Pattee
Greater Hartford CT Cohousing
c2pattee [at] aol.com

Commitment To Community 
By DANIELA ALTIMARI 
The Hartford Courant 
November 22, 1999 
For Shelly DeMeo, the sense of isolation that permeates the typical American 
suburb became tangible when her elderly next-door neighbor died and she 
didn't hear the news for two weeks. 
DeMeo began searching for a different kind of community, a place where 
neighbors frequently share meals and look after one another instead of 
sequestering themselves behind tall hedges. 

Graphic- Residents at the Pioneer Valley co-housing project "circle up" 
before one of the twice-weekly shared meals at the projects community center. 
It is one of the many things shared in the community, although the residents 
own their own homes.

``I don't want to drive into my garage and shut the door,'' says DeMeo, a 
34-year-old piano teacher who lives with her husband and three children on a 
quiet side street in West Hartford. ``I want more connectedness with my 
neighbors.'' 
DeMeo believes she has discovered a better way to live. It's called 
cohousing. She and about a dozen like-minded people hope to build the state's 
first cohousing community. The group, Greater Hartford Cohousing, has been 
meeting since July and is searching for a site in central Connecticut. 
To the uninitiated, this experiment in group living may conjure images of 
barefoot hippies sharing bowls of brown rice and tofu while pondering world 
peace. 
In reality, cohousing is a cross between a condo complex and a commune. 
Residents own their own homes while sharing responsibility for chores such as 
lawn mowing and gardening. They pay a monthly fee. 
But unlike condominium dwellers, denizens of cohousing communities are 
enmeshed in their neighbor's lives. They look after one another's children 
and participate in meetings, classes and weekly communal dinners. More 
important, they share common values, including the belief that a measure of 
autonomy must be sacrificed for the greater good of the community. 
The concept was born in Denmark in the late 1960s and spread to the United 
States and Canada about 20 years later. There are now more than 100 cohousing 
communities completed or in development across the nation, including 17 in 
New England. They range from a rustic collection of farmhouses near the coast 
of Maine to urban townhouses in Cambridge, Mass. 
Most cohousing communities are newly built, designed by the people who live 
there. In some cases, however, residents of existing neighborhoods have 
banded together and adopted the tenets of cohousing without constructing new 
homes. 
The notion of making decisions in concert with one's neighbor may strike some 
as contrary to the much-cherished American values of independence and 
freedom. But there is a long tradition of communal living in the United 
States, from the transcendentalists who founded the utopian community of 
Brook Farm in 1841 to '60s radicals who joined communes in the countryside. 
Most of those experiments ultimately failed. But advocates of cohousing say 
their model is more realistic. 
``People think cohousing is one big commune,'' said DeMeo, who learned about 
the movement by stumbling onto a Web site maintained by devotees, 
www.cohousing.org. ``We're not talking about sharing our home. We're not 
talking about sharing the same gallon of milk.'' 
Lentil Soup And Chicken
Conversation punctuated by the clang of silverware fills the common room in 
the Pioneer Valley Cohousing Community in Amherst, Mass. It's dinnertime on a 
recent Wednesday and dozens of families have gathered under a soaring ceiling 
for lentil soup, baked chicken and salad as well as a hefty helping of 
neighborly banter. 
Residents share supper at least once a week. Meals are prepared simply and 
are often filled with vegetables grown in the community's organic garden. 
Cooking, like other communal tasks, is a shared responsibility. Everyone 
takes their turn. 
The collection of 32 houses sits in a 26-acre meadow in the north end of this 
college town. Built in 1994, it is home to roughly 100 people - University of 
Massachusetts professors, architects, teachers and engineers as well as 
several artists, a juggler and a professional storyteller. There are single 
parents, gay couples, retirees and children. Despite the mix of ages and 
sexes, Pioneer Valley, like many cohousing communities, isn't all that 
diverse: Nearly all the faces are white. 
The houses - duplexes, triplexes and single-family units with open floor 
plans and unfinished basements - are compact, reflecting the group's ``small 
is better'' ethos. They aren't necessarily cheaper than houses in a 
conventional subdivision. Prices range from $72,000 to $140,000, plus monthly 
fees of $90 to $175. 
When residents were asked to explain the appeal of their lifestyle, a gush of 
glowing responses tumbled forth. ``Someone else cooks dinner two days a 
week,'' said Reenie Humpage, 55, who grew up in Winsted and lived in Hartford 
and Bloomfield before moving to Pioneer Valley. 
``And I don't have to mow the lawn because people like Reenie enjoy cutting 
the grass,'' said Lou Conover, a 44-year-old software engineer. 
Humpage says the community reminds her of a traditional small town, before 
the rise of subdivisions with gates, cul-de-sacs and large lots. ``There's 
the same sense of neighborhood that I remember from growing up in Winsted,'' 
she said. ``We knew our neighbors. People didn't move away every couple of 
years to take a new job.'' 
Not Nirvana
That's not to say that the Pioneer Valley cohousing development is perfect. 
Because every decision that affects the community must be unanimous, 
decision-making can be cumbersome and minor squabbles can drag on for months. 
One of Pioneer Valley's most fevered battles centered on the question of 
whether cats would be allowed. (In the end, the pro-feline forces won.) 
Complications have arisen when friendships fade or couples divorce. 
Although most residents are friendly with one another, they are not all best 
friends. ``I'm cordial to everyone,'' said Humpage's husband, Peter Jessop, 
who developed the community and now lives there. ``I respect everyone. But 
I'm not going to hang out with everyone.'' 
Then there's the strain that close living and a loss of privacy can bring. 
``You just can't go off and do whatever you want,'' Humpage said. ``You have 
to listen to your neighbors.'' 
DeMeo says she's not naive about the downsides of cohousing. But to her, the 
trade-off is a worthy one. 
The Greater Hartford Cohousing group has met with Jessop and other cohousing 
builders and is searching for a site in Hartford or the surrounding suburbs, 
but it has yet to develop a detailed plan. The process takes time. Several 
years will elapse between conception and moving day. 
But members say they are eager to get to work. 
``I like the idea that we'll be working out problems together,'' said Pat 
Russell, a retired Hartford teacher who launched a second career as a 
psychotherapist. She lives in a condominium complex in Newington. 
For Russell, 60, the idea of living close to neighbors of various ages is the 
greatest allure of cohousing. ``I don't want to live in senior housing and be 
segregated in that way,'' she said. ``I'm at a place in my life where this 
seems like a good alternative.'' 
Greater Hartford Cohousing is holding an informational session and slide show 
at the Faxon branch library, New Britain Ave., West Hartford at 7 tonight. 
Anyone in terested in learning more is welcome to attend. Please call Shelly 
DeMeo at 860-561-4333. 

submitted by 
Christine Pattee
Greater Hartford CT Cohousing
c2pattee [at] aol.com