Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: cohousing as a means of re engaging a sense of control (longish)

[Berrins (Berrins]

In a message dated 7/12/2000 12:30:59 AM, tilstra [at] smartchat.net.au writes:

<< This feeling feeds the "heroic individual" perspective. So, individuals
disengage from the national agenda and big picture issues, due to a
perceived lack of control.  Instead, we are becoming more engaged with those 
issues that we can control. These are essentially personal in nature - such 
as whether to buy a new car, or which cable television channel to purchase." 
>>

Good question, although you present it as a contradiction; an individual who 
disengages is hardly a hero.  I assume you mean that many people believe only 
heroic individuals can make a difference and those people don't feel they 
have the stuff to be heroic.  They disengage from large issues so they won't 
feel the guilt. Why do people feel so powerless?

Many reasons, not the least of which is the time required to achieve the 
level of comfort/security that we each feel we need to ensure survival (and 
for many, raise a family at the same time).  Next, there are so many worthy 
causes; how many pleas for help and money did you all get in the mail last 
month?  Also, the information age is creating an information overload.   And 
politics, oy, don't get me started. 
    It can all be so overwhelming.

<< What about cohousing? >>

Cohousing is one antidote to information and work overload.  It shows that 
when people get together they can accomplish things at a scale much larger 
than what an individual can do and you don't have to be rich to do it.  It's 
not as financially safe as a kibbutz, but there's lots of support for many 
other life stressors and needs.  And when you realize that your neighbors 
support several different issues, you'll feel less gulity about not supper 
between optimisim & pessimism? >>

Having only lived in cohousing 3 months, I can't respond about cohousing 
children.  I do know that children raised on kibbutzim tend to be very 
successful in Israeli society in general.  I would like to feel that 
cohousing will give our children a similar confidence and the ability to 
accomplish things.  At least that's the plan!

        -Roger Berman
        Pathways Cohousing
        Northampton, MA