Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: rules and regulations

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

One of the places where there is often a gulf between desire and
practicality is between vision and rules.

In the practical world of financial mortgaging property for sale to bankers
there is a set of rules that is pretty much standard and required. These
rules often have very little to do with day to day life, but are put in
place in the form of CC&R's, bylaws or other legal formats so that the banks
will smile and nod and give  mortgages.

Most cohousing groups evolve a set of "house rules" which define things as
the members want them to be. Sometimes the house rules are unwritten, and
just understood, eg. It's not OK to spank kids here.
Defining and negotiating how you want to live together is the ongoing work
of community life, and as far as I have learned, never really ends.

Vision statements are usually pretty vague, and in the practical world, end
up meaning dozens of things to dozens of people. For example, does the
phrase: "environmentally committed" mean:
a. We recycle our cans, bottles and papers.
b. We only buy cleaning supplies that say eco on them.
c. We only eat vegan and don't own cars.
d. All of the above.

In my experience, it is uncommon for cohousing groups to do the further work
of vision  and value clarification on the vision statement, and so these
differing meanings are all equally valid. And of course, when you get into a
conflict and try to wrap yourself in the community vision, it usually
doesn't work, because YOUR interpretation is probably not shared by
everybody else, hence the conflict.

Sorting out what the vision means is a good retreat type activity.

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood Cohousing resident for 11 years.
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