Cohousing-L Mailing List: Mental illness - circle helped

[Lynn Nadeau (welcome]

The one person I am aware of in our community who is on medications for 
depression/bipolar conditions is in fact one of our most contributing 
members. They are on several committees and cook and participate in many 
ways. And we know that sometimes this person is "unavailable" for 
socializing or work. 

What really helps is that we know about this person's challenges, because 
we had a sharing circle some years back, and quite a few of us attended, 
and the topic was health matters (physical and mental). Those who wished 
to, shared about challenges they had to contend with, and helped the rest 
of us know how we could best be supportive. "Don't take it personally if 
I say I have to end a conversation soon - I have chronic fatigue and have 
to be careful of my energy levels." "When my medication isn't working 
right, I may..." "I'm fine but have a terror of hospitals- if I get taken 
to a hospital, please keep me company." Others expressed support and 
care. I knew that one member had had cancer and worried about him, but 
learned it had apparently been cured. 

This circle was part of a three-part series. I was away for the other 
meetings, but they were also well attended and appreciated. I know the 
last one was about death and dying and how different members felt about 
it. 

When a person is diagnosed, there is a handle on it. I think we are more 
challenged by the fact that cohousing attracts leader types, problem 
solvers who know their way is great, as well as those whose high need for 
control includes orchestrating a whole community. For "us" to work 
together in consensus is one of those great Opportunities for Learning 
and Growing, but not always smooth. 

I also am concerned that as we age, more and more of us will be 
rationally-challenged and may wreak havoc in a system which relies rather 
much on common sense and the greater good. I personally consider 
cohousing as my senility insurance, or at least my senility indicator: if 
all the rest of these fine people agree that I'm not making sense, I've 
promised myself I'll believe them!

Lynn Nadeau, RoseWind Cohousing
Port Townsend Washington (Victorian seaport, music, art, nature)
http://www.rosewind.org
http://www.ptguide.com

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