Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: disruptive members

[Kay Argyle (argyle]

There are times when the discreet private conversation to talk about the
disruptive behavior meets with denials.  Sometimes this is because the
person is honestly unaware of the effect their communication style has, and
sometimes it's because they enjoy their  behavior but won't cop to it (these
are the smile and stab you in the back folks).

In the former case (not much you can do in the latter), get the person's
okay to point out the behavior next time it occurs, right as it occurs.

It's important to make the distinction between the style of a communication
and its content.  If you reject the content because you don't like the
style, the problem escalates.

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