Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Re: Work Sharing

[Cheryl Charis-Graves (ccharis]

On 8/23/03 7:40 AM, "Sharon Villines" <sharon [at] sharonvillines.us> wrote:
 
> One of the consistent problems I see with meetings is that people do not
> come prepared and do no work between meetings.

> In majority rule, the majority can just ignore people who arrive unprepared.
> In consensus, one can't. But the problem is still people arriving
> unprepared, not consensus.

Sharon, I think you nailed this one. While meetings are not "fun," it is a
pleasure to be part of a meeting in which people are prepared, have done the
work they agreed to, and the energy of those present is engaged in the
"work" of the meeting.

I do wonder. The people who come to meetings unprepared and don't find time
for doing the work in between meetings also speak of their frustration (and
their guilt). They do care, but ... Reasons given include demands of family
life, too busy with professional work, commitments to friends/extended
family/organizations, commitments to a personal passion (that does not occur
in meetings), and the ubiquitous differences in personality/style.

I'm also thinking consensus is more than a form we adhere to, but an
agreement about the way in which we consider the group, attempting to
balance needs of the person and needs of the comm'ty. It makes things more
complex. It's more demanding. But it doesn't always look like people sitting
in chairs at a meeting. It might take the form of a written proposal on the
bulletin board from one comm'ty member re a private daycare venture, an ad
hoc group talking over drinks on the patio to refine a work/pay proposal, an
elist summary of work-in-progress on repair of the carport lighting, or a
one-on-one dialogue between a comm'ty member and a "coordinating council"
representative on a sofa in the basement after watching big screen TV.

I'd like to release those people who don't function as well in the meeting
structure from their frustration and guilt while also finding a way in which
they can contribute based on needs, abilities, and resources. It does take
all of us, but it needn't look the same for everyone.

It's part of the growth process, I think, which is an inherent part of any
group/relationship.

-- 
Cheryl Charis-Graves
Harmony Village Cohousing
Golden, Colorado
http://www.harmonyvillage.org

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