Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: rules, regs.

[truddick (truddick]

Date: Sun, 23 Apr 2006 10:39:42 -0400
From: Diane <dianeclaire [at] gmail.com>

" Not all sociology or sociologists would say that [individuals always act
in self-interest].   This one, wrote a book
about the self and values (Fabric of the Self: A Theory of Ethics and
Emotions -- Yale, 1998 -- please excuse the shameless promotion, but do read
it :-))."

Sorry, I never read books :)

"... But even in this most
individualistic of societies most of us do define ourselves in a broad range
of ways, one of which is as members of a group.  Concepts of good and bad
vary in fairly patterned ways depending on the nature of the group."

True, also patterned on life scripts, the individual interpersonal
relationships within the group, the broader context of social norms, and
personal idiosyncratic habits.  But that abstract dichotomy "good" and "bad"
doesn't explore motives, just consequences.

If a person decides to go along with a group decision that's counter to
personal wishes, the individual is doing so out of a calculation of
cost/reward; is it better to continue to get all the benefits of group
membership-including, as you cited, basic mental health (that's not recent
research, Maslow mentioned it too)?  Or is it better to depart from the
group?

This is basic "exchange" theory.  If the perceived benefits of a current
relationship are equal or greater than those of alternatives, one wants to
maintain the current relationship.  If the alternative seems more
beneficial, one changes.

If a particular member of a cohousing group does not want to sacrifice
certain idiosyncrasies in return for the benefits of cohousing, that person
is not actring more selfishly than the people who do so choose; the person
is simply coming to a different conclusion about benefits (tempered perhaps
by individual circumstances).  And we've already discussed to death what
might happen in that circumstance; the group can do all those
deviation-correcting sanctions and mediations, or the individual can move
out.

___
  !    _    Thomas E. "TR" Ruddick
  !   !_)   Nunquam Vadis Levis!
      !  \