Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Some life and cohousing advise

[O3C11N6G (normangauss]

Marty:

I have been chastised for revealing my community's identity.  This is 
because there is some fear that our current effort to draw people in might 
be derailed by my comments.  In other words, the Public Relations arm of my 
community wants to portray a happy image.

However, if I can alert people who are thinking about living in cohousing to 
the potential problems likely to be encountered, I think I am doing them a 
service.  My community has already experienced unhappy people moving out 
within a year because they found that this was not what they had expected. 
The community has  also witnessed several members dropping out from 
participation.

If one is content to be in a condominium environment but not want to get 
involved, just about any condominium could work for you.  So, for you, there 
is really no special advantage to living in cohousing.

Our marketing literature had painted a picture of happy people living 
together and enjoying each others company.  Sales literature is prone to 
enticing one without revealing any potential problems.  After living here 
for three years, I have found that the simplistic concepts described in the 
literature and in the agreements we signed are meaningless.  People are too 
varied to be able to live together harmoniously without significant 
disagreements.  I too fell for the idealistic picture presented to me.  I 
became disillusioned when I realized that the tremendous variety of 
personalities in a community could not possibly follow their initial 
agreements.  It is like they completely forgot the agreement they signed.

After taking an active part in running this community, I have gotten to know 
more people of varying backgrounds and personalities than I have in my 
previous adult life.  It was an eye opener for me.  I think these people are 
so interesting that a novel with many characters could be based on 
experiences in cohousing.

So, rather than trying to enjoy myself as a participant, I get greater 
satisfaction from just observing and taking notes.

I have turned into a student of people and it is very interesting.

Norm Gauss






----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Martin Sheehy" <martinsheehy [at] yahoo.com>
To: "Cohousing-L" <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
Sent: Saturday, September 22, 2007 11:38 AM
Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Some life and cohousing advise


> Rob's post mirrors my own sense.
>
> I love the CoHousing concept and would, at one or two levels, love to live 
> in a Community, BUT, I tend to be disputatious and abrasive at times and 
> with a readiness to anger. Accordingly, I am moving very slowly before 
> committing to any CoHousing Community, if ever.
>
> Marty.
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----
> From: Rob Sandelin <floriferous [at] msn.com>
> To: Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> Sent: Saturday, September 22, 2007 11:19:45 AM
> Subject: [C-L]_ Some life and cohousing advise
>
>
> This is mostly to Norm Gauss but it applies to anybody.  I would encourage
> you to evaluate yourself and your situation. Are you happy? If not, then
> make the changes in your life to accomplish being happy. Living in 
> community
> is not for everyone and in my travels I have encountered a few very 
> unhappy
> people who mistakenly chose to live in community.  Community is all about
> relationships, building then, nurturing them, continuing them. If this is
> not your thing, then living in a community is probably not going to make 
> you
> happy.
>
> Rob Sandelin
> Living with incurable cancer and happy
> Going on 17 years at Sharingwood
> Snohomish, WA
>
>
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
> http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L/
> _________________________________________________________________
> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
> http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L/