Re: Social participation (was How do we hold each otheraccountable?) | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Michael Barrett (mbarretttoast.net) | |
Date: Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:39:14 -0700 (PDT) |
Muriel said in: From: "Muriel Kranowski" <murielk [at] vt.edu> To: "Cohousing-L" <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> Sent: Monday, July 26, 2010 10:41 PM Subject: [C-L]_ Social participation (was How do we hold each other accountable?) 1) More than half of our residents were not among the founding group, and their motivations might not be as intensely communal. 2) Some of our founders have moved away, further diluting the original intensity. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- These are doubtless factors which account for some of the loss of "intensity" as a community matures. However my observation from living in two communities, as both a founder member and as a Johnny-come-lately, is that the gradual but inevitable replacement of original members with newcomers represents an opportunity frequently missed and, if not missed, then often poorly handled. My observations: Ask any original member and I bet they'll say: "New members are treated just like the original members". Ask any new member do they feel they "belong" with exactly equal status and I bet they'll say: "No" . New members often come with a (perhaps naive) abundance of enthusiasm and energy for cohousing. However new members have told me (many times) that they feel anxious and concerned about how to fit in, and how to learn the unwritten "rules", and they hang back for fear of intruding where they are feel uncertain of their welcome. After move in new members will often tend to follow the example of their neighbors and if they observe what appears to be laid back (i.e. low) attendance at meetings, workdays, meals and other functions, they may behave similarly. Original members accept, but don't go out of their way to welcome, new members the way they did when every new member was purchasing a lot and moving the community another step towards completion (and financial solvency). Potential new members are not frequently not "oriented" prior to (or even post) purchase, explicitly and clearly, about obligations, expectations, hopes and opportunities. The interests of the community and the seller do not align very well here, and it is up to the community, as may be necessary, to waylay (and befriend) the prospective buyer to make sure they attend some functions, and also talk with members about the minuses as well as the plusses of cohousing, i.e. so they get thoroughly "oriented" prior to a sale. New members, rather than being actively recruited to join committees and work teams (and camping trips and beach weekends), may be either "given time to settle in" (i.e. ignored) and/or regarded with some concern if they volunteer, for fear they may question long established practices (which they may well do). My bottom line is that a community can help maintain and even reenergize itself if it will make a positive effort to capture the enthusiasm and energy of new members. Without that effort then, as Muriel suggests, an ongoing decline in overall community activity and participation seems to be an almost inevitable consequence. Muriel drew a parallel to marriage or an equivalent commitment, with the early high intensity "in love" phase followed by however many years of being in a long-term relationship. The advent of new members in a community can perhaps be seen as an opportunity equivalent to a couples weekend or marriage retreat. They don't always guarantee success, but, approached thoughtfully, they sure can shake the dust from the rug and perhaps trigger needed changes. I'm curious to hear how your community "treats" newcomers. Michael Barrett Shadowlake Village, nestling again the Appalachians in Blacksburg, VA, - where we have three houses for sale which I would love to see occupied by cohousing knowledgeable families willing to share their energy and enthusiasm for the greatest way to live that I know of.
- Re: Social participation (was How do we hold each other accountable?), (continued)
- Re: Social participation (was How do we hold each other accountable?) Naomi Anderegg, July 28 2010
- Re: Social participation (was How do we hold each other accountable?) Sharon Villines, July 29 2010
- Re: Social participation (was How do we hold each other accountable?) Moz, July 30 2010
- Re: Social participation (was How do we hold each other accountable?) Sharon Villines, July 29 2010
- Re: Social participation (was How do we hold each otheraccountable?) Michael Barrett, July 27 2010
- Re: Social participation (was How do we hold each otheraccountable?) Craig Ragland, July 28 2010
- Re: Social participation (was How do we hold each otheraccountable?) Sharon Villines, July 29 2010
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